


hesitate

by tiffaniesblews



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Episode: s03e18-21 Sozin's Comet, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, katara/aang kiss? what kiss?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:46:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 22,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25196404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiffaniesblews/pseuds/tiffaniesblews
Summary: Zuko stood at his balcony, eyeing the beauty that was Caldera City. A few days ago, he was crowned Firelord Zuko, ruler of the Fire Nation. A tall responsibility for a seventeen year old boy. A seventeen year old boy who was once a traitor to his nation, a disgrace to his father, a failure to his people. Now? Well, now he is Firelord Zuko, and he’s not sure how ready he is for the new task.~~~As he thinks, Katara joins Zuko, asking why he jumped in front of the lightning for her.
Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 87
Kudos: 279





	1. time only heals if we work through it now

**Author's Note:**

> Title of work comes from the Jonas Brothers song 'Hesitate' off their album Happiness Begins.
> 
> I've always wondered whether Katara thought about Zuko jumping in front of the lightning for her. Always a conversation I wished I could witness.
> 
> EDIT: Decided to keep going with this one :)

Zuko stood at his balcony, eyeing the beauty that was Caldera City. A few days ago, he was crowned Firelord Zuko, ruler of the Fire Nation. A tall responsibility for a seventeen year old boy. A seventeen year old boy who was once a traitor to his nation, a disgrace to his father, a failure to his people. Now? Well, now he is Firelord Zuko, and he’s not sure how ready he is for the new task.

He thought of his friends, and how they were the reason he had gotten so far. He thought of Aang, the Avatar, the boy he had chased for a year before finally joining; Aang, who is full of light and joy, whose childhood was taken from him just as quickly as Zuko’s was. He thought of Sokka, the Southern Water Tribe warrior, with his strong sense of integrity and belonging and his terribly wonderful sense of humor. Zuko thought of Toph, the blind Earth bending girl, who was strong and able in every way necessary, who opened herself to Zuko readily. There was Suki, the Kyoshi warrior who would do anything to protect the ones she loves; though there was distrust in the beginning, Suki readily became a close advisor. Finally, there was Katara.

_ Katara. _

Katara was the one he thought of most of all. She was the one who trusted him in the catacombs of Ba Sing Se, and she was the one he hurt when he chose Azula over Aang. Zuko thought about his actions in Ba Sing Se ever since, as he always struggled with what to do. Katara was the one who was most hesitant to accept him into the group; she was the one who came to his room his first night to warn him that if he betrayed them again, there would be hell to pay. Katara’s trust was the only one he craved in those days. How he prayed to Agni that one day she would accept him. Once she did, they were constantly by each other’s side, helping each other at the right times. It was Katara that Zuko asked to accompany him to face Azula. It was Katara that he jumped in front of lightning for, earning himself a new scar on his chest. It was Katara who sat by his bedside as he healed, holding his hand as he screamed and begged for the pain to end. Katara, whose kind blue eyes always tended to brighten his day. 

Gripping the railing, he shook his head, trying to get these thoughts out of his head. He noticed his feelings for Katara slowly building ever since they had gotten to Ember Island and he never exactly knew what to do about them. Once he and Katara returned to the others, Zuko found himself quickly filling in the role of ‘team dad’ along Katara as ‘team mom’; the two began sharing responsibilities like cleaning and cooking, making idle conversation as they did. The two became comfortable, sparring every once in a while when they were not training Aang, critiquing each other’s bending and giving useful tips. Zuko was surprised with what they shared with each other; Katara about her Gran Gran and her father, Zuko opening up about his scar, a secret he hadn’t even told Aang. 

When it came time for his coronation, Mai had come to him. She was ready to accept him back, pick up where they left off, but Zuko, in his heart, felt like it was not right. While he loved Mai, he felt as though his heart belonged to someone else. Zuko told Mai this, and while she was hurt, she could see the pain and conflict in his face. She respected his decision, promising she would always love him and care for him.

“Zuko?” came a voice from the opening of the balcony. Zuko squeezed his eyes shut. “Zuko what are you doing?”

Zuko opened his eyes and turned around, facing Katara. She was wearing a new dress, one of deep blue that matched her eyes. Her dark hair was down, cascading waved down her back. There she was, looking as beautiful as ever.

“Hi, Katara,” he finally replied, turning back around and facing the city. “Just admiring the view, I guess.”

He heard Katara walk forward, sidling up next to him so that their arms were touching. Zuko felt his breath catch. 

“Yes, it is very beautiful,” Katata agreed looking out. “You’re very lucky.”

“I guess so,” he mumbled. 

She looked up at him, smiling. “You don’t think so?”

“I don’t really know,” he admitted, his shoulders tensing. “I mean, I guess I should feel lucky right? My father and sister are both locked away, the war is over.”

“But?” she asked him, staring up at him, eyes filled with curiosity. “You don’t feel lucky, do you?”

“No, I guess I don’t,” he replied. “Katara, I’m only seventeen.”

“I know that,” Katara replied. She gently placed an arm on his shoulder. “But you also have advisors and your uncle to help you.”

Zuko closed his eyes again, the weight of Katara’s hand heavy on his shoulder. He had to keep reminding himself to breath. 

“And you have us,” Katara continued. “You have Aang, and Sokka, and Toph, and… me.”

He opened his eyes, looking down at her. The sun was starting to go down, and it brought out her features. 

“Do you think you could rule your country at the age of fifteen?” he asked her, not really sure why.

“No, probably not,” she admitted. “But if the time came, and I needed to, I would know I wasn’t alone. You are capable, Zuko, I know you are.” 

“I guess so…”

Katara gave his shoulder a light squeeze before removing her hand and leaning back up against the railing, breathing in the sunlight.

“Wow, that is a gorgeous sunset,” Katara said, staring at the faint orange and pink that was slowly consuming the sky. 

“Yeah it is,” Zuko replied, but he wasn’t looking at the sky. When she glanced up at him, he quickly turned his head, hoping she didn’t notice him staring. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her smirk. 

“What’s on your mind, Zuko?” 

“Nothing,” Zuko lied. 

“Zuko, you are an  _ awful  _ liar,” she teased, giving him a poke in the ribs. “I think I know you pretty well by now.”

“I just… have a lot on my mind, that’s all,” he answered, hoping she doesn’t continue. 

She stared up at him, her eyebrows furrowed. When he didn’t continue, she looked out again. 

“You know, I never properly thanked you,” she said, more to herself than to him. 

“For what?”

“For saving me,” she replied simply.

“Katara, you did thank me,” he reminded her, “right after you healed me.”

“No, that doesn’t count,” she said. “Plus I wasn’t referring to then, though I guess jumping in front of lightning for me does fall under that category.”

“Anything for my… friend,” he mumbled. She looked up at him again, her eyebrow cocked. “Yep… just… my friend.” 

Katara gave a small smile and shook her head. “Sure, I guess so.”

“So what did you mean?” he asked her quickly. “What did you mean by ‘more ways than one’?”

Katara sighed. “I guess… just helping me figure everything out? With how I felt about my mom, about my bending, about who I am as a person. Despite the turmoil you caused me in the beginning, I guess I owe you a lot, that’s all.”

Zuko stared down at the water bender, the sun slowly fading in the sky. 

“I… you’re welcome,” he stammered out, not really sure what to say. “You saved me too, you know.”

“Yeah?”

“Ever since Ba Sing Se… I was constantly thinking about the choices I made. I was constantly thinking about the kind of person I was and who I wanted to become. Knowing you… knowing you helped me figure it out. Oh, that and you healed me from the lightning.” The last part was teasing, and Katara laughed at the right time.

“You know, if you didn’t jump, I wouldn’t have had to heal you,” Katara reminded him, bumping her hip to his. 

“Oh, yeah?” he asked her, bumping her back. “And what were you going to do?”

“I don’t even know,” she replied, scrunching her nose. “Actually, you know what, I’m going to say it again: thank you for jumping in front of lightning for me.”

“Well, you are welcome, Katara,” he replied. “Though I wouldn’t jump in front of lightning for just anyone.”

“Oh?” she asked. “What does that mean.”

Zuko hadn’t thought that far ahead. He wasn’t even planning on telling her that piece of information. 

“Zuko, why did you jump?” Her voice was suddenly serious, no longer joking like it was earlier. 

Zuko gripped the railing once again. “I… it just… felt like the right thing to do, I guess.”

“Why? You risked your throne, your country, your  _ life  _ for me. Why would you do that?” 

“Because,” he began, unsure of how to continue, “you’re… my friend.”

Katara scoffed, turning around so that he back was now leaning up against the railing, her arms crossed. “You jump in front of lightning for friends now?”

“Katara, why are you asking me this?” He knew why. Zuko felt the same rush of feelings flow through her as they did through him. 

“Because, Zuko, you risked your life for me when you didn’t need to,” she stated. 

“Katara, it’s more complicated than you think,” he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. “At the time, watching Azula direct the lighting towards you I felt…”

Katara waited, staring up at him, her lips pursed. Though she looked terrifying, he could see her shaking.

“In that split second,” he continued, “I thought to myself how terrible life would be if I had to continue living without you in it.” 

She uncrossed her arms, her hand making his way up his arm. “What does that mean?”

“I really don’t know how to put it into words,” he told her, now turning to face her. 

“Can you try? Please?”

Zuko sighed. “I guess… the past few weeks, we’ve really gotten to know each other, and I just… felt close to you. You’ve become someone really important to me. And I guess…”

“You guess what?”

“Can I tell you something, first?” he asked her.

“Anything.”

“Mai came to see me before my coronation,” he explained, “she wanted to pick up where we left off before I left. But I turned her down.”

Katara cocked an eyebrow. “How come?”

“Because…” he took a deep breath. “Because I guess my heart belongs to someone else.”

Katara leaned in closer and Zuko felt his heart beat out of his chest.

“Who?” she asked him. 

“I think…” he muttered, “I think you can make assumptions here.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” she replied. “But do you know if her heart belongs to you?”

“I don’t,” Zuko replied, watching as she got closer. “I thought for a while that her heart belonged to someone else.”

“I don’t think it does,” she said. “Belong to someone else I mean.” 

They slowly closed the distance between them, Katara slowly standing up on her toes so she could meet him. Her lips were soft against his, tentative and slow. He kissed her back, his arms wrapping around her waist to pull her closer, as she placed her arms around his neck, her fingers playing with his hair. Zuko wanted this moment since she hugged him back on Ember Island, when she finally let him back in. 

Slowly breaking apart, they stared at each other. Katara unwrapped her arms from around Zuko’s neck and sheepishly turned away, facing the city, her cheeks red. Zuko kept his hand on the small of her back, his head dizzy.

“So, is that why you jumped?” she asked him.

“I mean, if I knew you would kiss me for that, I would have jumped in front of lightning for you a thousand times over,” he replied, smiling slightly.

She turned to face him again, and at first he thought she was angry with what he said. Instead, he saw she was smiling. “If I knew you wanted me to kiss you, I would have done it sooner.”

Now it was Zuko’s turn to blush. “Katara, what will you do now that the war is over?”

“Probably head home with Sokka,” she replied, a slight shrug. “Help dad with the tribe.” 

“Ah, well, that makes sense,” he replied, his heart sinking. “Promise me one thing though?”

“Anything.”

“Promise you won’t forget me?” 

Katara turned, placing her hand gently on the left side of his face, her thumb stroking his scar. “How can I forget the boy who saved my life?” 


	2. i will take your pain and put it on my heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokka knows Zuko is hiding something, but Zuko doesn't feel like explaining. Unable to sleep, Zuko goes to the courtyard where he sees Katara meditating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So like, originally this was going to be a cute little one shot, but then I was thinking about where this could go and... here I am. Not sure how long it's going to be, but I'm definitely going to keep working on it!

Two weeks after Zuko’s coronation as Firelord, Zuko found his friends discussing their next steps. Aang, being the Avatar, decided that he would stay with Zuko in the Fire Nation to help Zuko continue working on Restorations. The council was still hesitant to accept Zuko, but having Aang in the council meetings allowed some sort of peace. Toph, not wanting to return to the Earth Kingdom just yet, decided to stay with Zuko as well. Zuko graciously accepted the offer, ready to watch Toph’s antics unfold. Suki and Ty Lee were discussing how to get to Kyoshi Island to join the other Kyoshi warriors; Sokka offered to make a detour on the way home with Katara.

Every time Zuko thought of Katara, his heart ached. They did not discuss their exchange on the balcony those weeks ago, nor have either of them made any acknowledgement of the kiss they shared. While they shared stolen glances here and there, neither could begin a conversation about the feelings forming between them. Every once in a while, when ‘Team Avatar’ as Sokka called them, gathered for dinner, Zuko could feel his heart beating out of his chest whenever Katara talked. He could see Toph smirking next to him, knowing she felt every beat; still, she never said anything to Zuko, which he was grateful for.

The promise Katara made him ran through his head daily:  _ How can I forget the boy who saved my life _ ?

Did he save her life though? Well, of course he did, he jumped in front of lightning for her, holding it to his chest, almost dying. But it was  _ she  _ who saved  _ him _ . Katara was the reason he was alive today, listening to his friends talk and joke. Katara was the reason his nightmares slowly subsided, the reason he smiled more easily. In a way, like Katara mentioned earlier, they saved each other.

_ How can I forget the boy who saved my life?  _ Well, how can he forget the girl who saved his? The girl who held his hand, wiped the sweat off his brow, touched the scar on his chest with gentle fingers. Zuko knew she meant every word she said. And now, with Katara slowly beginning to pack her belongings away to head home with Sokka, Zuko felt dejected. Asking her to stay, he decided, would be selfish. He knew Katara needed to go home, see her family, help her tribe. Zuko could never stop her from continuing on with her destiny. 

After dinner with Team Avatar one night, the gang made their way to their respective rooms to continue packing for their journeys. Sokka, Katara, Suki and Ty Lee were leaving tomorrow by boat; Sokka and Katara were going to make a short detour to Kyoshi Island to drop off the Kyoshi warriors before heading home. Toph and Aang were just as anxious as Zuko, but were better at hiding it. Zuko trudged along the hallway to his own bedroom, deep in thought.

“Hey, buddy!” a voice called out behind him. “Zuko, wait up!”

Zuko stopped and turned around to see Sokka running towards him. “I’m waiting, I’m waiting.” 

“Hey, man, you okay?” Sokka asked when he finally got to Zuko. 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Zuko replied, beginning to walk again. Sokka fell into step next to him.

“I don’t know, you were really quiet at dinner, that’s all,” Sokka exclaimed, giving a small shrug. He turned to Zuko, giving him a slight nudge with his elbow. “What, you going to miss us, Firelord?”

Zuko gave a small sigh. “I know it’s what you have to do.”

“You’ll still have Toph and Aang,” Sokka pointed out. “Aang will be here to help you rebuild the Fire Nation and Toph will be both great entertainment and a personal bodyguard. It’s a win win there.” 

“Yes, that’s true,” Zuko replied, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’ll be quiet around here, that’s all.”

“Hey, I’m not  _ that  _ loud,” exclaimed Sokka. “Toph by herself can be noisy.”

“Yes, I know, Sokka,” Zuko teased slightly. 

Sokka stopped and looked at Zuko. “Okay, listen, I think we’ve gotten to know each other pretty well, right?”

Zuko stopped too and turned around to face Sokka. “Yes?”

“So why aren’t you telling me what’s really bothering you?” Sokka asked. “What’s going on.”

Zuko thought back to his kiss with Katara again, soft and gentle, everything he had hoped for. He thought of that split second, right after Azula aimed, where he decided he was going to save her, he  _ needed  _ to save her. 

“Nothing I can’t figure out on my own,” Zuko lied, turning back around and continuing with his walk. He heard Sokka pick up his pace to catch up. “Like I said, I’ll just miss the hustle and bustle of Team Avatar.”

Sokka shook his head, unconvinced. “Well, okay, you’re the Firelord. I’m not going to push it.”

They stopped in the middle of the hallway, right by Sokka’s room. 

“See you tomorrow morning before we head off?” Sokka asked, opening his bedroom door. 

Zuko nodded. “Yes.”

Sokka gave a small wave and made his way into his bedroom. Zuko continued with his walk. 

Once he made his way into his room, he quickly worked the headpiece he wore as Firelord out of his hair, letting the shaggy black hair fall into his eyes. He swept it out of his face, and quickly undressed from his Firelord robes, putting on a more comfortable pair of trousers and a tunic to sleep in. Crawling into bed, he stared up at the ceiling, trying to push down every thought in his head. Why did he have to feel this way? He practically admitted to her that his heart belonged to her and yet…

“Why can’t I just let you go,” he said out loud, sitting up and placing his head in his hands. Taking a deep breath, he got up out of bed. He wasn’t going to be able to sleep, so why waste his time.

Zuko crept back into the hallway, glancing around. He noticed a guard standing by his door. Walking past, he waved his hand, signaling that he will be fine. The guard gave a slight nod, but followed Zuko through the palace halls. He wasn’t really sure where he wanted to go, but let his feet be his guide, lost in his thoughts. Finally, he made his way into the palace courtyard, placed near the center of the palace. This was where he used to feed the turtleducks with his mother, where he used to play with Azula. 

Smiling slightly, he made his way towards the little pond before realizing someone else was already there. It was Katara, sitting crossed legged near the edge of the pond. He could see her breathing deeply, in and out. Looking up, he noticed the full moon shining above them; he chuckled lightly and carefully made his way towards Katara. When he got near her, he saw her open her eyes and look around. 

“Firelord Zuko told me I was allowed in this area of the palace,” she said, looking up. Noticing it was Zuko, she was visibly relaxed and offered a small smile. “Oh, it’s you.”

“It’s me,” he agreed. “Mind if I join you?”

Katara nodded and faced the pond once more. Zuko sat next to her, crossing his legs so that his knee was touching hers. 

“Why are you awake?” he asked her, watching as she took another steadying breath.

“Full moon,” she replied, giving a slight shrug. “I was thinking of getting some practice in.”

“You rise with the moon,” Zuko reminded her, placing a hand gently on her knee. 

He saw her smile. “Yes, I do.”

Zuko gently rubbed his thumb on her knee, watching her breathing. Katara looked cool, calm, and collected. Her outward appearance would never be a hint of just what a powerful bender she was. Katara had bested Zuko more times than he could count. 

“You’re trembling,” she said, opening her eyes and looking at Zuko. 

“Am I?” he asked. Zuko didn’t even notice. 

“Too cold for you, Firelord?” Katara teased. “You are only wearing a light tunic.”

Zuko blushed. “It’s hot in the Fire Nation.”

“Mmm,” Katara replied, “too hot for my taste.”

“Is that why you’re leaving?” 

She furrowed her brow a bit. “No, Zuko, you know why I have to leave.”

“I know,” he said. “I just… don’t know what I’m going to do without you here.”

She gave him a small smile and stretched out her legs so she could scoot closer to Zuko. She rested her head against his shoulder. “I think you’re going to be just fine without me here.”

“Will I though?” Zuko asked her, his cheek resting on the top of her head. “The South Pole is very far.”

“I promise not to go anywhere near lightning,” she teased. 

He laughed, placing his arm around her as he did. “Like I said before, I’d jump in front of lightning for you a thousand times over.”

She looked up at him, leaning in and giving his chin a small kiss. “I know you would.”

He felt her hand slowly make his way towards him, slipping its way under his tunic, softly caressing the scar on his chest. It was still tender, and Zuko took in a sharp breath.

Katara gave her hand a slight jerk. “Does it still hurt?”

“A little bit,” Zuko admitted. “I’ve been resting like you told me to.”

“I don’t think the stress of leading a country is helping you heal,” she replied, shaking her head a bit, slowly retracting her hand from under his tunic. He let out a slight sigh.

“Physically or mentally heal?” Zuko joked.

Katara smirked. “Both? Take your tunic off, I can see if I can heal it again.”

“Oh, uh, that’s okay, Katara,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Really, I’m okay.”

Katara raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. “Afraid of being shirtless in front of me? Because, need I remind you, Firelord, I have seen you shirtless plenty of times.”

“Oh, and did you like what you saw?” Zuko teased.

Katara turned red. “Tunic off.”

Laughing, Zuko took off his tunic, revealing the bright, angry red scar, prominent against his pale skin. Katara slowly reached out, her hands feeling around the scar. Zuko couldn’t help but stare at her as she worked. 

“Hmm, okay, I can’t really feel anything on the surface,” Katara stated. “Why don’t you come closer to the water, and I see if there is anything I can feel below the surface, maybe in the muscle.”

“Okay,” Zuko replied, doing what he was told and scooting closer to the water so he was now sitting closer to the edge. 

Katara bended the water from the pond, taking some in her hands and slowly working her way through Zuko’s chest. He felt the cooling water course through him, stitching scar tissue that was not fully healed.

“How does that feel?” she asked him, holding her hand over the scar.

He placed his hand on hers, squeezing it gently. “Better, thank you.” 

“You’re welcome,” she whispered, her hand now clutching his chest. Her deep blue eyes were staring into his own, as if she was seeing him for the first time. “I wish I could take it away from you.”

“Why?” he asked her.

He saw a tear slide down Katara’s face. “Because I’m the reason you have it.”

Before he could even think, Zuko leaned forward, his lips meeting hers. He felt her hand slide down his chest, moving to rest on his hip as she kissed him back. His hand found its way to her hair, bunching it into his face and she pressed closer into him. 

Someone by the entrance cleared their throat, and the two jumped away quickly. A palace guard made his way over, and Katara quickly backed away from Zuko blushing furiously. 

“What?” Zuko snapped. “What do you need?”

“Sorry to interrupt, your Highness,” the guard said, looking back and forth between the two. “It’s just that Avatar was looking for you in your quarters and you weren’t there. I told him I would come fetch you.”

Zuko sighed. “Did he say what he wanted?”

The guard shook his head. “No, sir.”

“Thank you, I’ll go meet him,” Zuko stated, waving the guard away. As the guard walked away, Zuko glanced back at Katara. “Uh, sorry about that.”

Katara shook her head. “It’s fine. Aang has been talking about a plan he was thinking of. He probably couldn’t sleep and decided now would be the best time to tell you.”

Zuko couldn’t help but smile with fondness for the young teen. “Sounds like Aang.”

“Yes, it does,” Katara agreed. She reached over and grabbed Zuko’s tunic, handing it to him. “You probably want this on when you talk to him.”

“Good idea,” Zuko replied, taking it from her and putting it back on. He stood up, already noticing the tightness he felt in his chest earlier slowly start to fade. “Are you… coming?”

Katara shook her head. “I think I’m going to stay out here and meditate a bit longer. Who knows when I’ll be able to again when I’m on a boat full of people.” 

Zuko bent over, placing a kiss on the top of Katara’s head. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning before you leave.”

“You better, Firelord,” she said, giving him a warm smile. “Now go see what Aang wants.” 

Zuko turned around, already missing Katara’s presence. As he made his way back to his room to meet with Aang, he couldn’t help but feel a twinge of guilt. Pushing the guilt away, he found Aang anxiously pacing in front of Zuko’s room. 

“Aang?” he called out. Aang looked over at him. “What can I do for you?”

“I had a nightmare,” Aang replied sheepishly, staring down at the floor. “I, uh, wanted someone to talk to about it.”

Zuko sighed. “About Ozai?”

Aang nodded. 

“Okay, let’s go get some tea. My Uncle always said tea is the cure to everything.”

As they walked, Zuko couldn’t help but to think of Aang, who carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, still being a boy. A thirteen year old should never feel that way, Zuko should know. He felt the scar on his chest throb once more, this time from the pain he felt of what his people did to Aang’s. Zuko knew he would be there for Aang, just as Aang would be there for him. 


	3. promise we'll figure it out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time for Team Avatar to go their separate ways arrive. Toph, being the wise girl that she is, confronts Zuko on his feelings for Katara.

The next day, Zuko stood on the dock with Aang and Toph watching their friends slowly add their belongings to the boat. It was a bittersweet feeling knowing Team Avatar was going to be a part for a while. He wasn’t sure when he would see Sokka, Katara, Suki, or Ty Lee again, but he hoped it would be soon. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Mai making her way towards the dock; he gave her a small smile, which she returned. Everything was okay between them, they were still friends, and Zuko was glad he did not have to sacrifice his friendship with Mai. 

Once the ship was ready, the four leaving team members made their way back onto the dock for their goodbyes.

“I’m going to miss you all so much!” exclaimed Ty Lee, flinging herself into Mai’s arms, who gave her a hug back.

“Yeah, it’s going to be weird not having you guys around,” replied Sokka, glancing at Zuko. “I mean… maybe we can stay longer?”

Zuko held up a hand. “No, Sokka, you have business to attend to. Please, don’t worry about us.”

Sokka held out a hand to Zuko, which Zuko took, only to be pulled into a hug by Sokka. Laughing, Aang joined the hug, wrapping his arms around Zuko and Sokka. While Zuko used to hate being physical with others, months of being with Team Avatar slowly helped him to become more open. He saw Katara and Suki both give Toph a big hug. The three boys broke away, and they continued with their goodbyes.

Finally, Katara approached Zuko, wrapping his arms around his neck. “Promise you’ll write?”

He held her close to her, hoping no one was watching closely. “As often as I can.”

She gave him a soft kiss on the cheek before pulling apart and joining her brother. Zuko, Toph, Aang, and Mai watched as the four boarded and waved as it slowly made its way away from the dock.

“I think I’m going to follow them for a bit,” Aang said, opening his staff and running off, jumping into the air. 

“I’m going to stay here a while longer,” said Mai. “I don’t want to go home just yet.”

“Want to join us at the palace, Mai?” Zuko asked.

Mai shook her head. “No, thank you. I might wait until the ship is out of sight and then just head home. Thank you anyways, Zuko.”

“Looks like it’s just me and you, Sparky,” said Toph, grabbing Zuko’s arm and pulling in in the direction of the palace. “Come on let’s go.”

Zuko gave Mai a small wave, which she returned, and then allowed Toph to drag him away from the dock. 

“Toph, hold on, slow down, the palace guards are going to think you’re trying to hurt me,” said Zuko, placing a hand on her shoulder to slow her down.

“What if I am?” she asked, sticking her tongue out in his general direction. 

Zuko laughed and then held his arm out for Toph to take; she slid her own arm around his, so that they were now interlocked, walking together. 

“So how long have you and Sugar Queen had feelings for each other?” Toph asked, leading Zuko more than he was leading her.

Zuko sighed. He knew Toph would bring this up eventually. “Am I that obvious?”

“Well, I’m not sure what you look like, but I can feel both of your hearts racing a mile a minute whenever you’re around each other,” Toph replied, giving a small smirk. “Now what are you going to do about it?”

“It’s complicated, Toph,” Zuko sighed. “She needs to go home and I need to… be the Firelord. I don’t know if we really can do anything.”

“Oh, that’s ridiculous, Sparky, and you know it,” Toph stated, giving Zuko a small pinch. “I heard you whispering that you were going to write to each other. And I’m sure you’ll see each other again.”

“I suppose so,” Zuko replied, but he was still unsure. 

“Listen, Sparky, you and I both know you wouldn’t have taken that lighting for anyone else,” Toph exclaimed. “And let me tell you, she  _ refused  _ to leave your side as you healed. She slept on the floor a few nights.”

“I know that,” Zuko replied. “Though, I seem to remember you being glued to my side as well?”

“We’re talking about how you and Katara feel about each other, not how I was worried I was going to lose my friend,” said Toph. Zuko could hear the way her voice slowly cracked when she mentioned her fear of losing him and was touched. 

“Well, did you want to talk about that?” Zuko asked her.

“No, because you’re alive and now I don’t have to worry about you,” Toph replied, pinching Zuko again.

“Okay.” 

The two continued their walk to the palace, guiding each other through the crowds of people slowly waking up and beginning their day. A small child holding her mother’s hand walked by and waved to Zuko excitedly; he waved back at her, which earned him a toothy grin. The mother, noticing her child’s excitement, also turned around to give Zuko a small bow.

“Good morning, Firelord Zuko,” she said, straightening up. 

“Good morning,” he replied, bowing in return. “I hope you have a good day.”

Bowing back earned him a few stares from the citizens walking around him, but he did not care. This mother and her daughter were his people, should he not treat them with respect?

Toph tugged his arm once more and they continued on, the palace now in sight. 

“The future is weird,” Toph stated, shaking her head slightly. “I wish we could just know what was going to happen.”

Before Zuko could answer, a shadow above overtook them and Aang landed on the ground near them.

“Well, they’re out of the harbor,” Aang told them, closing his staff. “So it looks like it’s just officially us.”

“They couldn’t stay here forever, Aang,” replied Zuko. He thought of Katara again, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him close. Toph slightly shifted next to him, as if acknowledging his thoughts.

“Yeah, I know,” said Aang. “Maybe we can visit them in a few weeks!”

“Give them time to settle, Twinkle Toes,” Toph suggested. “Let them figure out what they’re doing first.”

“I agree with Toph,” Zuko said. “As much as I would love to see them again, we all have our separate lives to continue with now. It’s unfortunate, but… it’s life.”

“I guess so,” replied Aang, moping slightly. “Katara and Sokka have been by my side the past year, it’s just weird not having them with me anymore.”

Zuko thought of Aang, twelve years old, waking up from being frozen in an iceberg for one hundred years. Despite the difficulty, Aang had overcome so much since then and Zuko needed to keep reminding himself it was Katara and Sokka who were there for Aang since he woke up. He remembered Aang’s feelings for Katara, and felt even more guilty; he never even asked Katara how she felt. 

“I know what will cheer us all up!” Toph exclaimed. “Let’s all go spar.”

“Spar? Now?” asked Aang.

“Toph, I have business to attend to. I had to push some meetings back to see everyone off,” Zuko replied. 

“You’re both just scared you’ll get your asses kicked,” Toph stated. 

Aang laughed. “You got that right, Toph. Zuko, should I be at these meetings?”

“Yes, please,” replied Zuko, now tugging on Toph to make their way into the palace. “We’re talking about rebuilding and I have a feeling you’re going to be needed.”

“Well,  _ fine _ ,” replied Toph, “then I’m coming too. I can be useful.”

“Of course you can come, Toph” replied Zuko, smiling down at the younger girl despite the fact that she won’t see it, “how else am I going to tell if anyone’s lying?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing from Zuko's POV; he's such a fun and interesting character, and I adore delving more into his mindset. The next chapter, though, is going be Katara centered; I think it's needed.


	4. just tell me where to start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once they arrive on Kyoshi Island, Katara takes some time to reflect. Sokka, being the older brother that he is, offers some advice.

Katara was relieved when the boat finally docked on Kyoshi island. She and Sokka both agreed that they would spend a few days with Suki and Ty Lee to recuperate before finally heading home.

_ Home.  _ Katara hadn’t been home to the South Pole in over a year. She hadn’t seen Gran Gran in so long, and she could not wait to be in her arms once again. Master, or should she say grandfather, Pakku had already returned to the South Pole shortly after the end of the war. Dad and Bato had as well, promising to continue with their plans even though Sokka and Katara would be staying in the Fire Nation for a few more weeks. 

Though she was excited to go home, Katara’s heart didn’t feel as excited as she told it to be. Leaving behind Aang, Toph, and Zuko just didn’t feel right. She had been traveling with Aang for the last year, watching him learn and grow into his role as the Avatar, and not being by his side felt… strange. She felt as though a piece of her was missing and while she loved Aang, she knew in her heart she could never love him anymore than a friend. After the war, after Zuko’s coronation, Katara needed to tell Aang how she felt, or how she would never feel. Even though it was a difficult discussion to have, Aang agreed that maybe the time was not right or that they both needed to grow a bit more. Katara agreed with him, but she couldn’t reveal the conflict in her heart. 

_ How can I forget the boy who saved my life?  _

Her feelings for Zuko were always conflicting, roaming between distrust and loyalty. He could be so many different people at once: the enemy who was out to hurt Aang and then the firebending boy who was willing to teach Aang. He was cocky and proud, but also self conscious and full of doubt. He was hesitant to join Team Avatar, hesitant to join in group dinners and discussions. Watching himself slowly opening up to the others made Katara feel better, but there were times she would think back to Ba Sing Se, where he hurt her. There were times she wanted to accept him, allow him in, but she was steady, waiting for him to earn her trust. He did so readily, allowing her to finally gain some closure about the death of her mother; Katara never expected Zuko to be the one who wholly accepted all of her broken pieces and only to then help her put them back together. She also never expected him to jump in front of lightning for her. 

She remembered back to that day, to Azula and Zuko’s Agni Kai.

“What, no lightning today?” Zuko had exclaimed, holding his arms up. “Afraid I’ll redirect it?”

A flash of light, a blink of an eye, time standing still. The lightning slowly made its way towards her, and she felt her feet glued to the ground, her eyes wide, ready to accept her fate. Then, out of the corner of her eye, there was Zuko, jumping in front of her, taking the lightning into him, holding it to his chest before collapsing on the ground. 

_ He saved me, he saved me, he saved,  _ she thought to herself as she ran from Azula, trying to defend herself.  _ He saved me and he’s dead.  _

But he wasn’t dead. He was alive. She had healed him, he had thanked her, and she thanked him. Katara sat with him days after, healing and comforting. Holding his hand, praying he would make it through; Zuko would always make it through. 

_ I’d jump in front of lightning for you a thousand times over,  _ he said to her. How she wished she could take away his pain and suffering, how she could be by his side, continue to work with him. 

“Katara?” Sokka asked her, sidling up to her where she was now standing next to the water on the beach. An hour or so after they docked, Katara had been itching to go somewhere quiet, to be somewhere she could think.

“Oh, hey, Sokka,” she replied, digging her toes further in the sand. The second she reached the sandy coast, Katara had thrown her boots and her parka off, slowly making her way to the edge of the water.

“You’ve been out here a while,” he stated, giving her a slight shove. “What were you doing, practicing some moves?”

Katara shook her head. “No, just… thinking. It was hard to do being confined on a boat for so long.” 

Sokka glanced at her, squinting at her a bit. “I see. Anything you want to talk to your good ole’ brother about?”

“I don’t think so,” Katara replied, bumping her shoulder into Sokka’s. “Thanks though.”

“Man, you and Zuko,” Sokka sighed, throwing his hands up.

Katara tensed. She was sure no one knew about what happened. “What about me and Zuko?”

Sokka gave her a look. “Just that when something bothers you, you tend to hold it in, that’s all. He just lets it manifest until someone forces it out, but you? You let it sit there before finally blowing up.” 

“That’s not true!” Katara exclaimed. Sokka raised an eyebrow and gave her a ‘see, told you so’ look. “Okay, maybe  _ sometimes _ , but not always.” 

“Hmm,” said Sokka, now circling Katara and looking her up and down. “Hmmmm.”

“What, Sokka,” she snapped. Katara quickly found herself bending the water from the ocean near her, creating a water whip to give Sokka a quick whip. 

“ _ Hey _ !” He yelled, jumping a bit. “No fair.”

“Why are you doing that?” Katara asked him.

“Because I have a feeling you and Zuko are bothered by the same thing, that’s all,” he told her, smirking slightly. “Call it brother’s intuition.” 

Katara groaned and sank onto the ground, pulling her knees to her chest.

“I was right?” Sokka said, staring down at Katara. “I mean, yeah, of course I was right.”

He sat down next to her, placing his arm around her shoulders affectionately.

“Okay, so, do you want to talk about it?” he asked. 

“Sokka, he risked his  _ life  _ for me,” Katara said, starting to cry. “He could have died,  _ I  _ could have died.”

“I know, Katara,” Sokka replied. “He knew what he was doing though.”

“Yeah, but he risked  _ everything _ .” 

“I mean, what are good friends for?” Sokka asked.

Through her tears, Katara started to laugh.  _ Anything for my… friend.  _

“I didn’t think that was funny,” Sokka replied, frowning slightly. 

“It’s nothing,” Katara replied, shaking her head. “You just reminded me of something Zuko said.”

Sokka didn’t look convinced. “Okay, well… yeah.”

“I just.. I feel so  _ guilty _ ,” Katara told him, hugging her knees some more. “Guilty he was in so much pain because of me. Only a couple months ago I refused to even trust and all of a sudden…”

“He’s saving your life,” Sokka finished for her, patting her back. “Yeah, that is a lot to take in.” 

Katara nodded. “Yeah. It is.” 

“Well, you know what they say,” Sokka said, not even continuing with his thought. 

“What do they say?” asked Katara, looking at her brother.

“People do crazy things for love,” Sokka explained. 

Katara coughed, not sure she heard Sokka correctly. “For love?”

“Yeah, sis, love,” he replied, glancing at her. “Like… I don’t know, when Toph and I were hanging there on the aircraft, I kept thinking about how I couldn’t let go of Toph. Because, you know, she’s my friend and I love her.”

“But because she’s your friend?” Katara clarified.

“Yeah, I guess,” Sokka shrugged. “Or with Aang. I went after him tons of times because I love him. I broke Suki and dad out of Boiling Rock because I love them. Wait, Suki might not have been the best example there, but you know what I mean.”

“Well, okay, there's different types of love,” Katara said. “Like, romantic love, love for your friends, and then familial love. I love you because you’re my brother. I love Toph and Aang and Suki because they’re my friends.”

“Exactly!” Sokka exclaimed. “So Zuko jumped in front of the lightning because he loves you!”

Katara looked at her brother, a small smile on her face. She watched as Sokka’s eyes widened in realization.

“Oh,” he replied, biting his lip. “I see.”

“Yeah,” Katara agreed, “oh.”

“So this just got way more complicated then,” Sokka told her, bumping her shoulder. 

“You’re telling me,” Katara sighed, stretching her legs out in front of her. 

“Did you guys talk about it at all?” 

“A little bit,” she told him. “Just that, you know, we needed to go separate ways for now. And to keep in touch.”

She chewed on her cheek.

“I think… I think there’s something between us,” Katara began, trying to figure out how to put everything in words. “Something binding us together. I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Well, I’m not really sure how to either,” Sokka admitted. “If I could help you more, I would. I know this though, you and Zuko are definitely not going to stay apart for long. I can tell. You guys will work through this.”

“You think so?”

“I know so!” 

Katara threw her arms around her brother. “Thanks, Sokka.”

“No problem, sis,” Sokka replied, hugging her close. “Now, let’s go find Suki and Ty Lee. They mentioned something about dinner.”

Katara laughed as Sokka got up and held his hand out to her. She took it and stood up, grabbing her shoes and her parka. She followed Sokka to the little village, where Suki was waiting for them. She thought of Aang, Toph, and Zuko back in the Fire Nation. She wondered what they were doing right now. She wondered what  _ Zuko  _ was doing right now.

“Hey, Suki,” Katara asked as they were sitting for dinner, “do you know if there’s any paper and ink anywhere? I wanted to send a letter to the Fire Nation, let everyone know we got here.”

“Oh yeah, sure” Suki replied. “Ty Lee was planning on sending one too, I can show you guys later.”

“Great,” Katara replied. She caught Sokka staring at her, a sad smile on his face. What was she going to do? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I running out of lyrics from the song? Maybe. Will that stop me? No.


	5. i thank the oceans for giving me you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katara and Sokka finally arrive home. As Sokka goes with Hakoda, Katara fills in Gran Gran about her busy year. 
> 
> A month later, Sokka and Katara finally hear from their friends in the Fire Nation. Yet Katara still feels lost.

A week later, Katara and Sokka landed in the South Pole.

Excitedly, they gathered their belongings and ran out onto the dock, where Hakoda and Gran Gran were waiting for them.

“Gran Gran!” Katara yelled, throwing her bags down and running into Gran Gran’s open arms. “Oh, Gran Gran, I missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you too, my little waterbender,” Gran Gran replied, hugging her close. “I’m so happy you’re here.”

“Me too, Gran Gran,” Katara replied, loosening her grip on Gran Gran and looking at her. “I’m happy to be here with you.”

Gran Gran smiled then turned her attention to Sokka. Katara went over to her father, wrapping her arms around him.

“You look well,” he said, hugging her tightly. “How are you doing?”

“I’m doing okay,” she replied. She didn’t want to tell him that she was being torn up inside, and that she had no idea what the hell she was doing, or that she kept focusing on the future instead of the present. Instead she said, “I’m just happy to be home.”

Hakoda smiled warmly at her. “How are the others?”

“Suki and Ty Lee are all settled at Kyoshi Island,” Sokka stated once he and Gran Gran broke apart. “They’re excited.”

“And how are you taking it, Sokka?” Hakoda asked. 

Sokka shrugged. “Fine for now.” 

Hakoda gave Sokka a light clap on the back. “It will get easier, son. Now, let’s go back to the hut and get something to eat.”

“I made sea prune soup,” Gran Gran said, grinning at her two grandkids. 

“Yes! I missed sea prune soup,” replied Sokka excitedly, following Gran Gran and Hakoda. Katara merely grinned.

Pakku was in the hut when they arrived, warmly greeting Sokka and Katara.

“GrandPakku!” exclaimed Sokka.

“I told you not to call me that,” Pakku replied, grinning nonetheless.

As they sat, Bato came and joined them. Sokka and Katara listened to Hakoda, Bato, and Pakku explain the changes being made to the village; Katara had to admit, the urbanization did sound like it was going really well.

“Well, can you show me around?” Sokk asked, his bowl now empty. “I want to learn so much more.”

“Of course we can,” Hakoda replied. “We can start as soon as possible.”

“Let’s start now!” Sokka exclaimed, jumping up from where he was sitting. 

“Well, wait, we should help Gran Gran,” Hakoda stated, frowning up at his son. 

Gran Gran  _ tsked _ . “Now, Hakoda, your son is excited. Go show him around, I can handle this myself.”

“I’ll help you Gran Gran,” Katara said, also standing up and beginning to gather the plates.

“Don’t you want to come with us?” Sokka asked.

Katara shrugged. “You can show me later. I want to help Gran Gran.”

“Well, it’s settled,” Bato said, clapping his hands together. “Come on, Sokka, you’re going to love this.”

Katara watched as the group of men walked out of the hut, ready for a tour. She knew she should be with them, learning about the changes being made to her tribe, but she felt like Gran Gran needed her; or maybe, she thought, she needed Gran Gran.

“Now,” said Gran Gran, working alongside Katara as they cleaned the dishes. “Tell me everything.”

Katara laughed and began her tale. She started with the Southern Air Temple, where Aang learned about the genocide of his people. She felt a pang of guilt when she remembered that day, and she couldn’t help but think she abandoned Aang. Still, she powered on, telling Gran Gran about the Kyoshi Warriors and Suki.

“You’ll really like her, Gran Gran,” Katara told her, now sitting next to her on the floor since they finished cleaning. “I think Sokka really loves her.”

Gran Gran smiled. “Then of course I’ll like her.”

Katara went on to talk about Omashu and Bumi, then the Northern Air Temple where they met Teo. She told her about Haru, the Earthbending boy she helped break out of prison. Katara even told Gran Gran about Jet. Gran Gran listened intently as Katara told her about the Northern Water Tribe, Serpent’s Pass, and Ba Sing Se. Katara caught Gran raising her eyebrows as she told her about Zuko in the catacombs. 

“And what did he choose?” Gran Gran asked, when Katara told her about Zuko’s difficulty to choose good.

“His sister,” replied Katara, looking away from Gran Gran. She thinks of Ba Sing Se often, how they shared a moment of empathy; at the moment, she thought Zuko chose  _ her _ . But he didn’t.

“I see,” Gran Gran said, raising an eyebrow.

“But he’s good now, Gran Gran!” Katara exclaimed. “He left the Fire Nation, betrayed his own father, and came to teach Aang. He helped us figure out a plan. He’s the one who led us to the White Lotus. I went with him to face his sister. He… He’s the Firelord now. And he’s going to make a difference.”

Gran Gran looked at Katara, a softness in her eyes. “You went with him to face his sister?”

“Well, once Ozai declared himself Phoenix King, he crowned Azula as Firelord,” Katara explained. “We obviously couldn’t let that happen, so he went to face her in an Agni Kai. His uncle said he needed someone and he asked me.”

“I see,” Gran Gran replied. “I won’t ask the details, but something happened there.”

“He… saved my life, Gran Gran,” Katra told her. Gran Gran took Katara’s hand and squeezed it. “Azula, she can bend lightning and she aimed for him. Zuko… Zuko jumped in front of it and redirected it, but he held it too long. He has a scar on his chest.”

“Can I assume,” Gran Gran interrupted, “that there are some feelings between you two?”

Katara sighed. “Gran Gran…”

“Just hearing you talk about this boy, Katara,”Gran Gran told her, smiling, “I can just tell.”

“Then your assumptions are correct,” Katara replied. “I don’t… I don’t know, Gran Gran. I don’t even know how they became so strong. And now we’re apart and… I just feel  _ lost. _ For more reasons than one.”

“Love is a fickle thing,” Gran Gran said, “just look at me and Pakku. As for feeling lost, it is normal to feel this way after the year you’ve had.”

Katara nodded. “I know, Gran Gran.”

Gran Gran wrapped her arms around Katara. “I wish I had all the answers you seek. I wish I could tell you your path, but only you can figure that out. You found it once, my little waterbender, you’ll find it again.” 

“Thank you, Gran Gran,” Katara whispered, trying to hold back tears.

“Now, why don’t you go join your brother,” Gran Gran said, pulling away from Katara. “He’s probably wondering where you are.”

Thus, life in the South Pole continued on. Katara found herself in council meetings learning about urbanization strategies, listening to Hakoda and Pakku bicker back and forth. She watched as Sokka took in everything around him; he had been happier than she had seen him in a while. Katara was pleased to find out that Pakku decided to continue training waterbenders, and he asked Katara to join him, which she graciously accepted. Not only that, but Katara also found herself in the healing hut, healing everything from minor cuts and bruises to cracked ribs from fighting. 

A month passed before either she or Sokka heard anything from their friends.

Early one morning, as she and her brother were eating breakfast with Gran Gran and Hakoda, Bato came striding in their hut, notes in hand. 

“Sokka, Katara,” he stated, holding the letters out to each of them, “these just arrived for you from the Fire Nation.”

“ _ Finally _ ,” said Sokka, taking the notes from Bato. “I thought they forgot about us.” 

Katara took hers from Bato. “Strange they sent us two separate ones rather than just one we could read together.”

Sokka opened the first one. “Oh, this one is from Aang and Toph and it’s addressed to both of us. Come here.” 

Katara scooted over. 

_ Dear Sokka and Katara, _

_ I’m writing this to be from both me and Toph. Toph wanted to send you her own, but, blind.  _

_ I miss you both so much. It feels strange not having you here with me by my side after a year of being together. _

_ Things are going well here in the Fire Nation. Zuko has been working so hard to help find peace and harmony between the nations. I think he’s finally earning the respect he deserves. We’ve been working closely together on restorations. Being the Avatar is hard, but I knew that one hundred years ago. _

_ Unfortunately, I think I need to move on from the Fire Nation. I want to find out more about the Air Nomads, especially since I’m the last one. I’m not really sure where to start, but I definitely want to go back to the Southern Air Temple first. I’m not sure why, closure maybe? I think going alone will be good for me.  _

_ Toph wants to let you know she decided to go home and see her parents. She is also thinking about opening a metalbending school. Cool, right? I’ll take her to Omashu first to see Bumi, and then I’ll drop her off before heading to the Temple. I think her and Bumi together is going to be really funny and I think I need a good laugh!  _

_ Toph says, and this is her not me, that she misses you both. She misses Katara’s constant nagging, but also her cooking and her occasional good advice. She also says she does not miss Sokka’s snoring, but she does miss his stupid jokes.  _

_ Maybe when I’m done at the Southern Air Temple, I can come down and visit you? It would be nice to see how the South Pole is coming along.  _

_ If you’re trying to reach me again, send a messenger hawk to the Southern Air Temple. Hopefully, we’ll all be together soon.  _

_ Miss you both, _

_ Aang and Toph.  _

Katara and Sokka finished reading at the same time.

“It makes sense he wants to restore the Air Temples,” Sokka stated, rolling the note back up. 

“Good for Toph for wanting to go home,” Katara exclaimed. “I think it might be good for her.”

“Agreed,” Sokka said, now opening up his next letter. “Huh, this one is addressed just to me from Zuko.”

Katara felt her heart in her throat and opened her own letter:  _ Dear Katara…  _

“Huh, seems to be just political talk,” Sokka said, scanning the paper. “He probably assumed I’d just tell you everything. Who’s that from?”

“Um,” Katara stuttered. Did she lie? “It’s from Zuko.”

Hakoda looked up from the plans he was reading. “Zuko sent you a separate letter?”

“You know what,” Katara said, standing up, “I’m going to read this outside.”

As she walked out, she heard Hakoda say to Sokka, “Is this something I need to worry about?”

“No, Dad,” Sokka replied, “I don’t think so.”

She walked out of the little village, but not too far away where no one couldn’t see her. Finding a quiet area, Katara sat and opened the scroll again.

_ Dear Katara, _

_ Sokka is going to find it strange that I'm sending two separate letters, but I don’t care at this point. His is full of politics, talks to restorations and ideas to help the Southern Water Tribe. I know for a fact he will share those plans with you. I don’t want to talk politics with you though, so I hope it’s okay I sent you a separate letter. I also wanted to address some things you said in your letter to me.  _

_ Aang and Toph are leaving. I know I should be happy for them, but I’m sad. Being alone is going to be tough, but I know I have to do this myself. I hired all new workers with the help of my Uncle. The council is finally beginning to trust me. My people are starting to like me. Slowly, we are finding peace.  _

_ I keep visiting my father. I have no idea why. I keep asking him where my mother is, but he won’t give me a straight answer. I just want to find her. Want to hear something stupid? I keep asking him for advice. He’s the last person I should ask, but he’s done this before. I don’t listen to what he says, I just want to know what not to do. Does that make sense? I don’t want to fail. I want to make Uncle Iroh proud.  _

_ I saw Azula the other day. She’s still unwell, but the healers are trying. I can’t help but feel guilty. Sometimes, I used to look at you and Sokka and get jealous; you two have such a great relationship built on trust and loyalty. Azula and I never had that. I don’t know if we ever will. And that saddens me, Katara. I know I should hate her, but I don’t. I pity her. I don’t know what to do. What would you do? _

_ I hope you’re happy in the Southern Water Tribe. I know how excited you were to see your family again. Does your Gran Gran still hate me for last time? If she does, I don’t blame her. Tell your father I said hello.  _

_ You said in your letter that you felt lost. Why do you feel lost? I’m sorry that you feel this way. If there is anything I can do to help, please let me know.  _

_ Hope you’re staying away from lightning. I know I am. _

_ With love, _

_ Zuko _

By the time she finished reading, Katara was crying. She missed him so much, and that was part of the reason she felt lost. How do you tell the  _ Firelord  _ you feel lost because that last time they fought together he risked his life for yours. How do you admit that you still think about the times he kissed you, the butterflies never subsiding? How do you admit that you think you love him, but you’re only a teenager and you have no idea what love is? Does he feel as lost as she does? He must, as he was visiting his father and his sister, trying to figure out how to be a Firelord without the rest of them there. 

Wiping her eyes, she got up and walked back to the village. Sokka was standing at the entryway waiting for her; if he noticed the puffiness of her eyes, he didn’t say anything. Instead, he slipped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into a one armed hug. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me, standing on a soap box: I LOVE GRAN GRAN!!!!!


	6. i'm on your side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko goes to visit Azula

_Dear Zuko,_

_Both Sokka and my dad were confused as to why you sent two letters, but like you, I don’t really care._

_You should know that I did tell Sokka about us. I mean, not US, but, you know, what we talked about. How we felt. So if you get a letter from him that tells you not to hurt me, you know why._

_I am so happy to hear that everything is going well in the Fire Nation. You are a wonderful Firelord. I’m sure Uncle Iroh is proud of you. I know I am._

_I am sorry that Toph and Aang had to leave you though, being alone must be tough. I know you can do this, even if we’re not by your side._

_Aang is going to visit us after his visit to the Southern Air Temple. I’m a bit nervous for some reason. Nothing’s been awkward between us, but still. I don’t really know what to expect. Though I am excited to see him again, it will be a little reunion._

_Back to your points. I don’t think it’s stupid you visit your father. I understand where you’re coming from. I’ll tell you this though: You are_ _nothing_ _like him. You’re caring, kind, loyal; everything Ozai isn’t. I’m sorry he won’t tell you more about your mother. I want you to find her. I hope you do. As for Azula, I’m sorry about her too. You did the right thing by not sending her to prison and instead sending her to the healers to get help. I think she really needs it. I think she really needs you. I don’t want you to compare yourself to Sokka and I, that’s not really fair to you. Every sibling is different. I hope you and Azula get the closure you both deserve. What I would do is just be there for her, and make sure she knows you’re there for her. Tell her you’re on her side, even if it will be hard at first._

_I’m glad to be with my Gran Gran, my dad, and Pakku. Gran Gran doesn’t hate you, by the way, but it’s probably because you saved my life. Oh yeah, I told her that, too._

_As for feeling lost, I don’t know how to explain it. Pakku has me training new waterbenders, and I’m happy doing so, but I can’t help but feel empty, as if I’m missing something. Do you ever feel like that? Maybe it’s because for the past year I’ve been traveling the world with the purpose to help Aang. But now? What’s my purpose now? Will I ever have another one? Sorry for all of these questions, I’m just confused._

_Please write soon, I miss you more than anything._

_With love,_

_Katara._

Zuko glanced up from the letter he was reading, rubbing his eyes. He had read and reread Katara’s letter about three times, absorbing every word. She was proud of him. She comforted him. She was happy to be with her family. Yet, Katara was still lost. 

There were times Zuko thought like she did, that there was something missing from him. When he was younger, it was his father’s love and adoration. While his mother was kind and loving, doting on Zuko whenever she could, there were times he still craved Ozai’s attention. _Azula was born lucky, he was lucky to be born._ He always kept that in the back of his mind. When he was banished, Zuko was missing his honor and his country, along with Ozai’s approval. Though he had Uncle Iroh with him every step of the way, acting like the father Ozai never was, Zuko could not but help crave Ozai’s love. After Ba Sing Se, he was lost, just as Katara now felt like she was. Zuko had everything he ever wanted: Ozai’s approval, his honor, the claim back to the throne. Despite all this, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was gone, that something valuable was taken away from him. 

Even though he was now Firelord, Zuko still felt that tug at his heart, that inkling in the back of his mind that he still wasn’t completely whole. He lost Ozai’s love all over again, he and Azula never patched their relationship, his friends were now all over the world on their own journeys. Now, Zuko was completely alone and he didn’t know what to do.

About a week ago, before Katara’s letter, Zuko sent a messenger hawk to Ban Sing Se, to his Uncle, practically begging Iroh to please come visit him in Caldera City. Zuko needed someone besides his stuffy advisors and palace guards who followed behind him constantly. Zuko needed someone he trusted whole heartedly. Iroh graciously accepted, stating he needed to wrap up some loose ends before coming. Zuko glanced at the days; Iroh will arrive by way of balloon the next day. 

Rubbing his good eye, Zuko placed the scroll back down on his desk and glanced at the unfinished paperwork he needed to complete. He had been procrastinating since his palace guard came in, delivering letters from Sokka, Katara, and Toph. Sokka’s letter consisted of plans for the Southern Water Tribe, and a suggestion of opening a trade route between the Tribe and the Fire Nation; an idea Zuko agreed with entirely. Toph had one of her parents’ house maids write a letter that detailed her day to day activities, which consisted of visiting the Earth Rumble arena (Zuko was too scared to ask) and scoping out students for her new Metal Bending school. He saved Katara’s letter for last, which he looked at again, debating on picking it back up and reading it for a fourth time. 

Sighing, he stood up, throwing an annoyed look at his paperwork, before deciding to just leave it for another time. He made his way out of his office, down the palace hallways, and out the front door, a guard following close behind him.

“Where are you going, Your Highness?” the guard asked, falling into step besides Zuko. “Would you prefer to take a palanquin?”

Zuko shook his head. “No, thank you. I would like to walk.”

“But, sir, where are you going?” the guard asked again.

“To visit my sister,” Zuko answered, picking up speed. He saw Azula last week, and she did not say anything, so he wasn’t sure why he thought to see her again. “Please, just follow closely, but I should be fine.”

“Yes, sir,” the guard answered, nodding and falling behind. Out of Zuko’s right eye, he saw another guard join him from the side. He could only assume there was one on his left.

Shaking his head, Zuko continued his walk through the city. Zuko was able to convince his new council that Azula did not need to go to prison, but instead needed help to heal after her mental breakdown; years of constant abuse wore down on her, and she didn’t need to be stuck in a cell where she could hurt herself. He had her staying just outside the city, not in the hospital where she might be a danger to others, but somewhere she could be safe. This is where he was heading now. 

When he arrived, he nodded to the guards who moved to the side, letting Zuko inside. A healer greeted him at the gate. 

“Firelord Zuko, we were not expecting you today,” the healer said, wringing his hands. “Azula is not well today, perhaps now is not the best time.”

“Where is she?” Zuko asked, walking by the healer. 

“The courtyard, my lord,” the healer answered, following Zuko. “Sir, I do not think she will speak with you.”

Zuko put up a hand, waving the healer away. “Let me see her, I will determine if I should leave or not.”

The healer stopped in his tracks and bowed. “Yes, Your Highness.”

Zuko continued walking towards the courtyard, his palace guards no longer with him. Though he never said it out loud, there was an agreement between Zuko and his guards: when he visits Azula, no one may accompany him inside.

Reaching the courtyard, he saw Azula sitting on a bench, staring at the makeshift pond. The flowers that were planted around her drooped, as if matching her mood. 

“Hello, Azula,” Zuko said, making his way over to the bench and sitting next to her. 

Azula didn’t acknowledge him, just continued staring at the pond. Pond lilies floated in the water, creating ripples when they accidentally tapped each other.

“I hear you’re unwell today,” Zuko continued, as if Azula had answered him. “I’m sorry.”

She tilted her head to the side a bit; an answer. 

“Uncle is coming tomorrow,” he told her. “I hoped he would help me a bit.”

“Hmm,” Azula hummed. 

“Would you like to see him when he’s here?” Zuko asked.

He watched as Azula pursed her lips. She did a quick, sharp turn of her head. No, she was telling him.

“I understand, but please send word if you would like to see him,” Zuko replied. “He will only be here a week or two.”

Azula sent out a breath through her nose, as if disapproving. 

“You don’t approve of him coming.” It was a statement, not a question. “He’s here to help me.”

Azula finally looked at Zuko, her eyes taunting. 

“I’m also lonely,” Zuko admitted, looking away from Azula. He heard her hiss. “Everyone left.”

“Hmm,” she hummed again.

“Aang is at the Southern Air Temple, Toph is in Gaoling with her family, Suki is on Kyoshi Island, and Sokka and Katara are in the South Pole,” he sighed. “They all have their duties and I have mine.”

“Mai and Ty Lee?” Azula muttered. Zuko looked at her, surprised. It was the first time she had spoken to him in weeks. 

“Mai is with her family in the Earth Kingdom on an errand I sent them on,” Zuko explained, “and Ty Lee is on Kyoshi Island with the Kyoshi warriors.”

Azula’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Did you already tell me this?”

“Yes,” Zuko replied, placing a hand on Azula’s shoulder that she promptly shook off. “You forgot.”

Azula looked away again, studying the pond. 

“You’re forgetting again,” Zuko told her. “You need to let the healers help you.”

“Don’t want to,” Azula mumbled. 

“Do you want to get better?”

Azula gave a little shrug. 

“I want to help you get better,” Zuko told her. He wanted to reach out to her again, but knew she would just shake him off once more. 

“Father?” Azula asked, her hands gripping the bench.

“In jail,” Zuko stated. “Where he belongs.”

Azula gripped the bench tighter, before finally letting go, settling her hands on her lap. She looked at Zuko, her gold eyes meeting his. “Good.”

Zuko nodded. “Yes. Good.”

They both looked back at the pond, silence consuming them. Zuko heard birds flying above, calling out to each other. A small breeze flew through his hair, loosening some strands that he wasn’t able to place in his headpiece. 

“Why?” Azula asked finally. Though she was addressing him, she looked past him, above his shoulder.

“Why what?” 

He watched as her eyes made their way from above his shoulder to his chest, where she must know his scar is settled. He placed his hand on it, as if protecting it from her. 

“Why?” she asked again. 

“Why did I jump?” Zuko asked her, confused.

Azula nodded.

How could Zuko explain this to her? Does she want to hear about how he feels about Katara? How every time he thinks of her, his heart beats out of his chest and he becomes so dizzy he cannot see straight. How she’s constantly running through his dreams. How sometimes, though he’s not sure how often, he thinks he loves her so much it hurts, even though he’s only seventeen years old and he’s really not sure if he even _knows_ what love is. How he didn’t even _think_ about jumping, he just _did_ , knowing that he needed to save her. 

“You love her.”

Zuko snapped back to attention, Azula staring at him, her eyes intense. “What?”

Azula smirked, looking back at the pond.

“Azula, what do you mean?”

“Why I aimed,” she stated, shrugging. “You love her.”

Zuko stared at his sister, unable to come up with an answer. 

“I could tell,” she continued. “Goodbye, Zuzu.”

“Goodbye?” he asked her. 

Azula nodded. “Goodbye.”

He stared at her some before finally standing up. Moving to stand in front of her, he gave her a small bow. “Goodbye, Azula. Be well. I will come see you again soon.”

She didn’t acknowledge him. 

Taking one last look at his sister, he walked out of the courtyard, the healer running towards him.

“I’m sorry, but like I said she is unwell, and-”

Zuko held up a hand. “She spoke today. Please let her relax. I think it took much out of her.”

The healer blinked, surprise written on his face. “She spoke?”

“Yes, she did,” Zuko said. “Leave her alone today. Continue tomorrow. She told me she does not want to be helped, so please, when she says she is done, give her space. I believe she needs to be eased into this. Azula is stubborn.”

“What did she say, Your Highness?” the healer asked, glancing over at the courtyard. 

“That is none of your business,” Zuko snapped. When the healer recoiled, Zuko sighed. “Do not speak to her about Ozai, if you will.”

The healer bowed. “Yes, sir.”

Zuko bowed back. “I will return in a few days. Please send word if there is anything you require.”

“Yes, sir,” the healer replied, bowing again. 

Zuko gave a small wave and made his way out, meeting his palace guards at the gate, where they followed him closely on his walk to the palace.

He thought of his meeting with Azula. How did she know his feelings for Katara? What did she mean when she said that was why she aimed? Did Azula know something Zuko did not know? Of course, Zuko’s feelings for Katara only started in Ember Island, there is no way Azula knew about that. How could she? 

Then he remembered a conversation he and Azula had, back when they were together, when Ozai was still Firelord, and Zuko was wanted.

“Zuzu, you’re positively _moping_ ,” Azula had told him. They were in the main courtyard, sitting under the tree watching the turtleducks swim in the pond. They had only been home for a week. Zuko wasn’t even officially with Mai yet. 

“Am not,” Zuko had replied, rubbing the scar on his left eye. 

“Are too,” she stated, poking him on the shoulder. “You’re thinking of that waterbender again aren’t you?"

“No,” he had lied. But he was. Zuko couldn’t _stop_ thinking about her. He knew her name, Katara, knew she traveled with the Avatar, that she was a Master waterbender, that she had healing abilities, that she lost her mother to the Fire Nation when she was a child, and that she was the first person to trust him besides Iroh. He also knew he would have gone with her in a heartbeat, but he chose Azula, chose his father, chose his _honor_ instead. 

Azula poked him harder. “Don’t lie, Zuzu, you’re a terrible liar.”

It was then that Zuko had gotten up and walked away from Azula, a satisfied smirk on her face. 

Zuko stopped right at the steps of the palace. _That’s_ how AZula knew. Maybe he had loved Katara longer. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Azula be KNOWIN'


	7. i'll be there time and place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uncle Iroh finally arrives in Caldera City to visit Zuko. Together, they discuss events happening in Zuko's life and the ways of the heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I love writing Iroh, but the metaphors definitely got away from me (English major, what do you expect haha).   
> Shout out to @lumosflies for being my beta always and for helping me cut down one of the long winded metaphors that made no sense to any one except for me lol

Zuko stood at the landing site of Iroh’s balloon practically bouncing on the balls of his feet. One of his palace guards looked at him, a small, teasing smile on his face. Zuko didn’t care though, because Uncle Iroh was almost here. 

The balloon was finally spotted on the horizon, slowly making its way towards Caldera City. He watched as it got closer and closer, every minute it wasn’t down on the ground, Zuko was wringing his hands impatiently. Finally, the balloon found its landing zone, touching the ground a little ways off from where Zuko was standing. 

Staring intently, Zuko watched as the door opened, Fire Nation guards slowly making their way out, Iroh following closely behind them.

“Uncle,” Zuko called out, dropping all composure and running towards his Uncle, throwing his arms around Iroh’s shoulders.

“Nephew,” Uncle Iroh replied, dropping his bag to embrace Zuko, pulling him in for a fatherly embrace.

“I’ve missed you so much, Uncle,” Zuko mumbled, a tear sliding down his cheek.

“And I you, my nephew,” Iroh replied, loosening his embrace on Zuko and staring at his face. “You look well, Firelord Zuko.”

“Please, Uncle, just Zuko,” he replied, feeling himself turn red, and rubbing the back of his neck. 

Iroh’s eyes twinkled. “Yes, of course, Zuko. Now, shall we make our way to the palace? I’ve had a long journey, and I would like some tea.”

“Right this way, Uncle,” Zuko replied, turning slowly and allowing Uncle Iroh to fall into step with him. “I have so much to tell you.”

A palace guard quickly ran over and picked up Iroh’s bag, then followed shortly behind. 

“I’m sure you do,” Iroh replied, nodding at the guard. “I heard what you have done so far. Seems like the restorations are going well?”

“Well, yes and no,” Zuko stated. “There is still some unrest it seems.”

“What do you expect?” Iroh asked. “I’m sure there are still Ozai supporters out there.”

Zuko nodded. “Yes.”

“You know, Aang and Toph visited me in Ba Sing Se a few weeks ago,” Iroh told him. “Such lovely children they are.”

“Yes, they are great,” Zuko replied. “I didn’t know they visited you. You didn’t tell me.”

Iroh chuckled. “Am I supposed to give you every update of my life now that you are Firelord?”

Zuko felt himself turn red. “No, Uncle, I guess it would have been nice to know.”

“I kid with you, Zuko,” Iroh said, placing a hand on Zuko’s shoulder. “I understand your desire to be informed.”

“Anything worth sharing?” Zuko asked.

“Nothing you don’t already know,” Iroh informed him, taking his hand off Zuko’s shoulder. “They told me about their plans and updated me on anything and everything about you.”

They finally reached the palace steps, slowing down for Uncle Iroh. 

“What do you mean ‘updated you’ about me?” Zuko asked.

“Oh, just about council meetings and ideas for restorations,” Uncle replied. “Toph did inform me though that she thinks you are, as she put it, lost.”

Zuko stopped in his tracks, looking up at Uncle Iroh who continued walking up the steps. Once realizing Zuko was no longer with him, Iroh turned around. 

“She said I’m lost?” Zuko asked him. 

“Well, are you?” Iroh replied, a small smile on his face. 

“I don’t know, Uncle,” Zuko admitted, ungluing his feet from the steps and meeting Uncle Iroh. “I’m not sure how I feel.” 

“To feel lost at a time like this is normal,” Iroh replied wisely. “Even I sometimes feel lost.”

“There’s something missing, Uncle,” Zuko said. “I don’t know what, though.”

“Hmm,” Iroh replied, “only time will tell, my nephew. Now, can we go to the kitchens please, I will take that tea now.”

“Of course, Uncle,” Zuko said, giving his Uncle a small smile. 

Zuko informed the palace guards to drop off Iroh’s belongings in his room, and the two made their way to the kitchens. Once there, one of the cooks quickly greeted Zuko and Iroh, asking what they needed.

“Please, just a kettle of water and your best tea leaves,” Uncle Iroh replied, holding his hand up to stop her. “I would like to make my own tea.” 

Zuko gave the cook a nod when she glanced at him, asking for his approval. She quickly went to one of the pantries, pulling out a kettle and a box of tea leaves, and handed them to Iroh. 

“Thank you,” Iroh said. “You are an excellent worker.”

Zuko stifled a laugh at the cook’s confused expression. “Come, Uncle, let’s sit.” 

Before they sat, Zuko held out a chair for Uncle Iroh at the head of the table, which Iroh graciously accepted. Zuko sat next to him. He watched as Uncle Iroh set everything up, creating flames for the water to boil. 

“You must have patience when making tea, nephew,” Iroh reminded him. “Or else you may ruin the flavor or burn it.”

“I know, Uncle,” Zuko replied, watching his Uncle’s flames dance under the kettle. 

“You require patience too, my nephew,” Iroh informed him, leaning back over his seat and crossing his hands over his belly.

“What do you mean, Uncle?”

“You claim you are lost, that something is missing in your life,” Iroh explained, his eyes sparkling. “Yet you do not know what causes this misery. Or, you claim you don’t, but you are scared to admit it.” 

“I don’t know what you mean, Uncle,” Zuko stated, thinking quickly of Katara and then dismissing the thought. 

Iroh looked at Zuko, a smile tugging at his lips. He fed the kettle more flames. “Broken pieces are hard to put back together. Sometimes, you can find the pieces yourself, but need someone to guide you in putting them back together. Other times, it is the other way around.”

“Now you’re just speaking in riddles, Uncle.”

“Perhaps,” Iroh replied, giving a slight shrug. “But I believe you know all of your pieces, you are just struggling to put them back together. Does that sound correct?”

Zuko thought of these past couple months, now that his friends are gone. At times, he really did think he was doing well, starting new projects and leading meetings, everything a dutiful Firelord should be doing. Then he hears of the unrest in the Fire Nation or the colonies, those who still support Ozai, or wish to see Zuko off the throne, and he’s right back to where he started. It was those times of unrest Zuko wished he had  _ someone  _ there next to him. 

“You’re here, Uncle,” Zuko pointed out as Iroh began extinguishing the flames. “Can’t you help me?”

“I am only one person, Zuko,” Iroh replied, looking up at him. “Besides, I helped you when you were lost once. This time, I do believe you need someone who is not an old man.”

“But you’re -”

“Tell me, how is Azula doing?” Iroh interrupted, changing the topic of conversation. “You mentioned you saw her in your last letter. Have you seen her since?” 

Zuko sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I saw her yesterday.”

“Oh?” Iroh began pouring the tea. “And how is she?” 

“As well as expected,” Zuko replied, taking the cup Iroh handed him. “She finally spoke.” 

Iroh raised an eyebrow, his cup to his lips. 

“It wasn’t much,” Zuko added, now taking a sip of his own hot tea. “I asked her if she wanted you to visit her.”

“Does she?” Iroh asked.

“No” Zuko blushed. “I don’t think she approves that you are here.”

“Her feelings for me are not the same as yours, nephew,” Iroh told him. “I am not offended. If she wants me to see her, then I will.”

Zuko nodded. “Yes, Uncle.”

They sat quietly, drinking the tea together. It was nice having Uncle Iroh here in Caldera City, in the palace, sitting at the table with Zuko. Iroh was more of a father to Zuko than Ozai ever was, and he was appreciative of everything Iroh had ever one for him. 

Shifting slightly in his seat, a shot of pain ran through his chest. Gasping slightly, Zuko grabbed at his chest.

Iroh looked up, worried. “What is the matter, Zuko?”

“No-nothing,” Zuko gritted through his teeth. “Just my wound.”

“Has it been bothering you lately?” Iroh asked, settling his tea cup down and moving closer to Zuko. 

Zuko thought back to the past couple weeks. One wrong move and he would find himself doubled over in pain. 

“Yes, Uncle, it has,” Zuko admitted. “I don’t know why though.”

“Have you seen a healer?” 

“Of course, but their remedies are only temporary,” Zuko stated, sighing a bit. “They’re not sure what else to do.” 

Iroh looked at Zuko, the corners of his mouth twitching. “You need a waterbender.”

Zuko shook his head. “No, Uncle, I don’t.”

“Hmm,” replied Iroh, now leaning back again in his chair. “If you say so. I can suggest a particularly good one who specializes in both healing and fighting. She could help you.” 

“Uncle, please,” Zuko muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Not now.” 

“You took lightning for her, Zuko, I know your feelings for her,” Iroh stated. “I may be old, but I know the ways of the heart.”

“Another day, Uncle, please?” Zuko asked, clasping one of Iroh’s hands. “Can we enjoy each other’s company for now before we discuss my father, or my sister, or the unrest in the Fire Nation, or… the ways of the heart.” 

Iroh let out a loud laugh. “Of course, my nephew. For now, we can enjoy each other’s company. Let me tell you about a nice young lad I met in Ba Sing Se. He was trying to steal from the market!”

Zuko let go of his Uncle’s hand and leaned back in his chair, picking up his cup once again. He listened to the old man’s story, a small smile on his face. 


	8. cross my heart you can keep mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aang is visiting Katara and Sokka in the Southern Water Tribe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to get Katara and Zuko back together SO BAD, but I feel like Katara would feel a sense of duty to the tribe. I'm going to find a way to get them together, but it might be a while :)

_ Dear Katara,  _

_ Uncle Iroh has finally arrived in Caldera City. I am so happy he is here. Now, I finally feel as though I can be somewhat normal. I know he cannot help me solve all my problems, but hearing his advice does put a pause on my worries. I told him about the unrest in the Fire Nation, how there are still some Ozai supporters in the city, and he told me he will attend meetings to help me come up with a plan. Oh, I guess I didn’t mention the outbursts in my last letter to you, did I? I promise, overall, things are going well in the Fire Nation. More and more people are receptive to the changes being made; there just so happens to be a group of people who wish my father was still on the throne. Uncle says that’s normal, but I’m not sure I believe him.  _

_ Please don’t worry about that, though. I know you tend to worry about me. I have Iroh for now, everything will be fine.  _

_ I wanted to tell you! Azula finally spoke to me a week ago. Well, we didn’t have a very substantial conversation, it was more a one sentence exchange back and forth. Still, it’s progress. She dismissed me before we could start getting into our mushy feelings.  _

_ Want to know something strange? She asked me why I jumped in front of the lightning for you. Seems Azula knew I would do it. Can I be honest though? I didn’t even think to take the lightning for you, I just did it. I think Azula wanted to know more about why, but like I said, she dismissed me soon after.  _

_ How’s Sokka doing? We’ve been sending letters back and forth, mostly about politics. He’s been telling me about his messages with Suki. I can tell he really misses her.  _

_ Has Aang arrived yet? Tell him I said hello if he’s there. Uncle Iroh told me that he and Toph went to visit him in Ba Sing Se. Seems like the old man liked the visit. Can’t say I blame him. I miss having Aang and Toph with me at the palace. The amount of trouble Toph caused! I hope we can all be together soon.  _

_ One last thing: my scar has been bothering me. I’ve gone to healers as they’ve been giving me remedies, but they don’t seem to last long. One wrong move and I’m in pain. Do you have any advice on this? I know it was months ago, but you said there was nothing below the surface, right? I’m scared, Katara. I don’t know why. Now more than ever I wish you were here.  _

_ Write soon.  _

_ Love, _

_ Zuko  _

Katara stared at Zuko’s signature at the bottom of the page, tracing the name with her finger. Usually, they signed their letters “with love”; it seemed strange, yet also vaguely exciting, that Zuko would switch to signing just “love”. Is this what love is? She’ll have to ask Gran Gran later. 

Remembering there were other messages in the letter, Katara quickly skimmed over it again. Zuko has Iroh with him, that’s good. He needs the support if there are still Ozai supporters in the Fire Nation. Katara shouldn’t be surprised about that, but she still was. Zuko said not to worry, but she couldn’t help it; he was only seventeen, almost eighteen, ruling a whole Nation on his own. Hopefully, Iroh will come up with ideas to help settle everything down. 

Azula knew Zuko would take the lightning for Katara, that much Katara figured. The question was  _ why  _ Azula knew this. Had she seen how close Katara and Zuko grew just from looking at them? Had Zuko said something to her? It just didn’t seem right in her head. 

What really got Katara was the information about Zuko’s scar. Of course, she had healed it months ago, checking below the surface, all the muscles and tendons that were there, and nothing seemed off. He wasn’t in pain when she left. Unless he wasn’t listening to her advice of taking things easy; she’ll have to ask him in her reply. Then again, she could offer to head to the Fire Nation to heal it again. She shook her head; no, that was silly. Leaving her home to go check on Zuko who was surrounded by healers. 

Biting her lip, she placed the letter down on the table by her. She was sitting in her hut alone; Gran Gran was at the market, Sokka was with Hakoda, and Aang, who was leaving tomorrow, was taking a stroll. Katara was going to join Aang, but Bato had just delivered the letter and Katara wanted to take the time to catch up. She wrapped the letter back up, and moved it next to her bed. Deciding to meet Aang, she walked out of the hut and towards just outside the village where Aang was flying up above. Appa was resting by the main gate.

Looking up, Katara watched as Aang circled in the air, petting Appa as she did.

“Hey, buddy,” she mumbled to Appa, who groaned back at her. “Are you going to miss me when you go?”

As if noticing her, Aang quickly dove down and softly landed next to her. “Hey, Katara!”

“Hey, Aang,” Katara replied, smiling. “Have a nice flight?”

Aang nodded enthusiastically. “Yep! I flew over the whole village, which looks great! I also flew over to where the penguins were, but they weren’t there.”

“Because it’s mating season, Aang,” Katara giggled. “They’ve moved on for a bit.”

“Oh,” Aang replied, deflating a bit. Then, he beamed. “Well, we can still hang out right?”

“Of course we can!” Katara said. “Whatever you want to do.”

“Great! Hey, how’s Zuko doing? My last letter from his was about a week ago,” Aang told her. “He mentioned something about Ozai supporters. Are they still around?”

Katara sighed. “Seems like it.”

“Hmm,” Aang said, rubbing his chin, a habit he picked up from Sokka. “Maybe I’ll stop by on my way to the Northern Air Temple. See if there’s something I can do.”

“Northern Air Temple?” Katara asked. “Is that where you’re going next?”

“Yeah! Teo and his dad wrote to me a few weeks ago,” Aang said. “They said they might have found something I should look at. I hope it’s more information about the Air Nomads.”

“That’s great, Aang!” Katara replied. 

“Hey, why don’t you come with me?” Aang asked, perking up. “You and Sokka! We can stop at Kyoshi Island to visit Suki, then Gaoling to visit Toph and her new Metal Bending school, then the Fire Nation to see Zuko! It would be just like old times!”

“Oh, Aang, I don’t know,” replied Katara, biting her lip. “That sounds so great, and I would love to see everyone again, but I think my place is here for now.” 

“What do you mean?” Aang asked her, now walking over to Appa and petting him. “The other day you said you still felt lost.”

Katara sighed. “I don’t know, it’s hard to explain. I love teaching the new waterbenders with Master Pakku, and everything happening with the tribe is fascinating.”

“But?”

“Listen, Aang, I think it’s more like I’m scared because I don’t know my purpose anymore,” Katara told him, finally saying out loud what she had been afraid to admit. 

“What do you mean?” Aang asked, confusion written on his face. 

“Well, I guess I mean when I was travelling with you,” she tried to explain, “I knew my purpose. Train you in waterbending and help stop the war. There was just the clear cut path and plan that I always knew.”

“And now you feel like there’s no schedule to help you?”

Katara nodded. “I guess so. There’s no one telling me what to do or when to do it. Just train new benders and help with the tribe.”

“That’s a purpose!” Aang exclaimed. 

Katara smiled sadly. “I don’t think it’s the same thing, Aang, but thank you.”

“Oh, yeah I guess so,” Aang replied. “I’m sorry.”

“Why? It’s not your fault!”

“I know, just… it stinks,” Aang told her, placing a hand on her arm. “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

“Thanks, Aang,” Katara replied. 

“Can we still ask Sokka what he thinks though?” Aang asked her. 

Katara nodded. 

“Come on,” Aang said, now grabbing Katara’s hand and pulling her closer to Appa, “let’s take a ride on Appa!”

Laughing, Katara climbed on the saddle behind Aang. Together, they flew over the village, Katara admiring the view. New huts were being added, as were new stalls to the market. Sokka and Zuko created a trade route between the Southern Water Tribe and the Fire Nation, and already business was booming. She thought about Aang’s proposal, wondering if she really could leave it all behind again. Maybe if Sokka agreed, then she might be more willing. 

Later that day, when she, Aang and Sokka were together, Aang brought up his idea.

“What do you think, Sokka?” Aang asked him. “You could see Suki!”

Sokka rubbed his forehead thoughtfully. “Aang, I don’t know… I would love to see Suki again, but I’m also needed here.”

“Maybe we can go to Kyoshi Island and then come back and I’ll drop you off before I head to Gaoling?” Aang suggested.

“Oh, Aang, that’s a lot of flying,” Katara said.

Sokka sighed. “I agree with Katara, Aang. I’m needed here. Dad is training me to be chieftain and there’s so much to do.”

“Okay… what if we said it was ambassador duty?” Aang tried again. 

Sokka laughed. “Aang, I know you want to travel again, but I really don’t think it’s time.”

“Sorry, Aang,” Katara said, leaning over and squeezing his hand. “I think now’s just not a good time.”

Aang looked back and forth between the two siblings. At first, Katara thought Aang would start crying, but instead, he broke out into a grin. 

“I’m so proud of you guys!” Aang exclaimed, throwing himself to the two, and slinging an arm around each of their necks.

“Huh, what?” Sokka asked, patting Aang on the back. “We just said we can’t go?”

Aang let go of them, the grin still on his face. “Because you two are working so hard. You two are making a difference.”

“I mean, yeah, I guess,” Sokka said, blushing slightly. 

“Listen, Katara,” Aang said, now looking at her, “you said you’re not sure about your purpose, and I get that, but you’re doing so well here. I need you to know that.” 

Katara blinked away tears. “Wow, thanks Aang.” 

“You’re welcome,” Aang replied. “Listen, we’ll find another time to get together right? Maybe it won’t be all of us at the same time, but we’ll never be apart for long.”

“I agree, Aang,” Sokka replied. “Thanks, little buddy.”

The next day, Katara and Sokka stood together, waving to Aang as he flew away on Appa.

“He’s right, you know,” Sokka said, turning to Katara. 

“What?”

“We won’t be apart for long. I know we won’t,” Sokka told her. 

That night, Katara wrote her letter back to Zuko. 

_ Dear Zuko,  _

_ I’m always going to worry about you. You can always count on it. Just as you would jump in front of lightning for me.  _

_ I’m glad Azula finally spoke to you! See, I told you you’d make progress. I’m really happy for you and I hope this progress continues.  _

_ As for what she said to you, I’m also not sure how she knew you’d jump. To be honest, at the time, I thought I was going to die. I stared at the lightning coming towards me and felt… ready. And then, you were there. I don’t know how she knew at the time, but I think at least I know why now. I know I’ve said it before, but thank you again.  _

_ For your scar, I’d hop on a boat right now and head over, but unfortunately I don’t think I can do that. Have you been resting? How are your stress levels? Does Iroh have any tea suggestions to help?  _

_ Aang asked Sokka and me to travel with him again. As badly as I wanted to say yes, I declined. He made me realize something. I do have a purpose. For now, it’s to keep teaching new waterbenders and to help build the Southern Water Tribe with Sokka and my dad. I know I turned down the chance to see everyone again, but I really do think my place is here for now. Unless, of course, you tell me to drop everything and come to you, then of course, I might just do that.  _

_ Why are you scared, Zuko? What can I say to make you feel better? I hope we can see each other again soon. Miss you more than ever.  _

_ Love, _

_ Katara _


	9. pull me close and i'll hold you tight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two year time jump between Katara's last letter to Zuko. Ursa has been found and brought back to the palace. Zuko still feels lost, but his mother offers some words of wisdom. A surprise visitor makes an appearance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait between updates! I've been working on another fic that took over my life! I felt like a time jump was the best from where I last left off and I'm probably going to have maybe 1 more chapter. We'll see!

Thus, life continued.

Each member of Team Avatar continued to do their own work around the world. Occasionally, Aang would visit each member, having Appa make each journey shorter. Suki and Ty Lee ended up moving to the Fire Nation as two of Zuko’s personal guards. Zuko was happy to have two people he trusted as his guards. Zuko also visited Toph and Uncle Iroh in Ba Sing Se; the only place he couldn’t manage to get to was the South Pole. 

There was a hole in Zuko’s heart that he never could seem to fill. Even though he was slowly rebuilding his relationship with Azula, something still seemed to be missing. He was even able to find his mother after prying the information from Ozai. 

“You seem sad, Zuko,” Ursa said to him one day, almost two years after the war ended. “What’s wrong?” 

“It’s nothing, mom,” Zuko replied. “Just a lot on my mind.” 

Ursa studied her son a bit. They were sitting out in the courtyard by the turtleduck pond. Zuko tried to forget that almost two years ago, he and Katara were out here, leading to their second kiss.

“You’re my son, Zuko,” Ursa told him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I know when something is wrong, even though I’ve been missing you a bit.”

Zuko sighed. “The day that’s coming.”

“The end of the war?” she asked him, confusion in her voice. “Isn’t that a day of celebration?” 

“Yes, it should be,” Zuko told her. “But, I don’t know, I feel like I’m missing something.”

“Like what?” 

Zuko shook his head. “I don’t know.”

“Something is eating at you, Zuko,” Ursa told him, giving Zuko’s shoulder a squeeze. “Your uncle tells me you’ve been lost. I see it too.”

“How can I have a purpose, but still feel so lost?” Zuko asked her, looking up at her. 

“You miss your friends,” Ursa stated. “Aang and Toph, and the two from the Southern Water Tribe.”

“Katara and Sokka,” Zuko told her. 

“Yes,” Ursa replied, giving a soft smile. “You speak of them often.” 

“Aang and Toph are the only two I see the most,” Zuko stated. “Ty Lee and Suki don’t count, they’re here.”

“Why didn’t you ever go with Suki when she went to the South Pole?” Ursa asked. “You could have seen them then.”

“The timing was never right,” Zuko muttered, gripping the bench. 

Ursa studied Zuko again and then stood up. “Come.”

“Where are we going?” Zuko asked her, also standing up, beginning to follow her. 

“Your sister is somewhere around here,” Ursa explained, “I would like to have dinner. The three of us.”

“Is that really a good idea?” Zuko asked his mother, worried. Though Azula moved back to the palace to be closer to Zuko and Ursa, she barely interacted with either of them. 

Ursa nodded, leading Zuko around the palace. They found Azula in her room, sitting on her bed, combing her hair. 

“Azula,” Ursa said, walking over to the bed. “Azula, I would like you to join your brother and I for dinner.” 

Azula looked at Ursa without seeing her. Ursa stared at Azula, holding her ground. Zuko walked over, sitting next to Azula.

“Azula, would you like to join us for dinner?” Zuko asked her. “Please?”

Azula looked away from Ursa and at Zuko. She squinted a bit, but nodded. 

“Great,” Zuko said, standing up and offering Azula his hand.

Azula ignored Zuko’s hand and stood up, making her way to the door. Zuko and Ursa exchanged a glance but followed her out to the hallways. Azula led the way to the dining area, Zuko and Ursa on her heels. 

They sat at the table awkwardly, palace workers serving their food. When the food was placed on the table, they helped themselves. Zuko was just glad they were able to eat to avoid the awkward conversation. Then again, with his family, that might not be possible.

“I know what day is coming,” Azula said, breaking the silence halfway through dinner. Though there were days where Azula may not speak, today was a rare day where she started the conversation. 

“What do you mean?” Ursa asked her. 

Azula looked at Zuko. “I know what day is coming.” 

“Yes, you do,” Zuko agreed. “How do you feel about that?”

Azula shrugged, stabbing a piece of komodo chicken. 

“I’m sorry if it brings you sorrow,” Zuko told her. “It was a hard day.”

“Father’s still gone,” Azula stated, not meeting Zuko’s eyes. 

“Yes, he’s still in jail,” Zuko confirmed. “Does that make you feel better?”

Azula gave a small nod. Ursa met Zuko’s eye, Zuko giving a shrug. Where Zuko could get Azula to speak, she was still struggling to open up to her mother. With Zuko with her, it was easier for Azula to speak about her feelings in front of Ursa.

“Would you like to see Mai and Ty Lee?” Zuko asked. Azula gave another nod. “Okay, I will contact Mai and see if she’s around that day. I’ll give Ty Lee the day off.”

“Thank you, Zuzu,” Azula muttered. 

“You’re welcome, Azula,” Zuko replied. 

Ursa gave Zuko a smile, then looked at Azula. Feeling her mother’s eyes on her, Azula looked up, finally meeting Ursa’s eyes. Surprisingly, Azula gave Ursa a tiny smile before turning back to her food.

“Sir! Sir!” called a palace guard, running towards Zuko. 

“Yes?” Zuko asked, turning to face the guard. 

“There's a boat approaching,” the guard informed him. “Were you expecting anyone?”

Zuko shook his head. “Could be Aang.”

“Doesn’t he usually take his bison?” Ursa asked. 

“Toph?” Zuko suggested, looking back at the guard. 

“It bears the flags of the Southern Water Tribe,” the guard told him. 

Zuko stood up quickly, his chair almost falling over. “What?”

“Were you expecting them?” Ursa asked Zuko, her eyes widening. 

Zuko thought back to Sokka and Katara’s past letters. It’s been almost two years since they last saw each other in person, and each letter had gotten more desperate for a reunion, though that was more Katara than Sokka. Had either of them said anything about coming? Did he tell them to come and it slipped his mind?

“Oh, Zuzu, just go to them,” Azula said, a smirk on her face. “Whether you were expecting them or not, it’s a nice surprise.”

“She’s right,” Ursa told him, giving Zuko’s hand a squeeze.

“They’re about five minutes away, your highness,” the guard said.

Not even waiting for anyone to say anything else, Zuko ran out of the room. Palace guards jumped out of his way as he ran through the halls and out the doors. As he made his way to the dock, his people waved at him. Some stopped to bow at him, causing Zuko to pause and bow back. Once he was finally free, he broke into a sprint towards the dock, the boat slowly approaching.

He paused on the dock, watching as the boat finally docked. Breathing heavy, he saw Sokka on the deck, leaning over the side.

“Hey! Firelord!” Sokka called out, waving his hand. “Damn, this was supposed to be a surprise!”

Zuko laughed, waving back at him. “Not a good one when your flags are waving in the air!”

Even from a distance, Zuko could see Sokka grin. 

Shuffling his feet, Zuko waited as those on board began to disembark. Sokka was one of the first to step off, running towards Zuko and giving him a hug. 

“Buddy!” Sokka said, clapping Zuko on the back. “Oh, man, so good to see you!”

“How did you even plan this without me knowing?” Zuko asked, pulling away from Sokka. 

“Um, my girlfriend is one of your guards,” Sokka told him, grinning from ear to ear. “Plus, Ty Lee and your sister were in on it.”

“ _ My sister _ ?” Zuko asked, blinking. 

Sokka shrugged. “Apparently.” 

Zuko thought of Azula at dinner, only speaking to Zuko when spoken to. Azula hadn’t muttered a word about his friends. 

“Is it, uh, just you?” Zuko asked Sokka, trying not to get too hopeful. 

Sokka gave Zuko a smirk, clapping him on the shoulder. “I’m going to go find Suki.”

“Was that a yes?” Zuko asked him, but Sokka already grabbed his bag and began to walk away. He watched Sokka walk away, not watching the rest of the passengers disembarking.

“Your hair got longer,” came a voice from behind Zuko. 

His heart stopped completely, the scar on his chest burning. Slowly he turned around, Katara standing there a bag thrown over her shoulder. Her eyes were just as he remembered, but she was a bit taller. Her long hair was wavy, almost down to her waist.

“Katara…” Zuko started.

No sooner had he said her name, Katara dropped her bag and threw herself in his arms. He squeezed tight, arms around her waist. He buried his face in her neck, feeling her heart racing against his chest.

“I’ve missed you so much,” she said in his ear. Her voice was muffled, and it sounded like she was crying.

“Katara, I’ve missed you too,” Zuko replied, holding her tighter. “I’ve missed you more than you know.”

She pulled away from Zuko, her face stained with tears. Slowly, she reached her hand towards his face, placing it gently on the scar on his face. He brought his hand to hers, stroking it with his thumb. 

“You’re just as beautiful as I remember,” Zuko told her, leaning towards her, touching his forehead to hers. 

“Still the same Zuko,” she replied, smiling. 

“Can I please kiss you?” he asked her.

“In front of all these people?” she whispered. “Is the Firelord allowed to do that?”

“I honestly don’t care” he told her, already moving closer to her.

She met him halfway, just like she did two years ago on the balcony. It felt like time hadn’t even passed, that they were seventeen and fifteen again, that they just won a war. Two teenagers, struggling with the weight of responsibility on their shoulders, trying to figure out their destinies. 

At that moment, Zuko was thankful for surprises. Oceans separated him from the girl he loved, but for the time, he decided to just forget about that. He was just happy she was finally with him. 


	10. won't be scared that's the old me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katara and Zuko discuss more about why the others came to visit. Katara meets Lady Ursa.

“So, not to say I’m not extremely happy that you guys are here,” Zuko said once he, Sokka, and Katara were back at the palace, “but, uh, how come you guys planned all of this?”

Sokka just shook his head laughing. “Does there need to be a reason?”

“I mean, I guess not,” Zuko muttered.

Katara’s arm was looped through his own, laughing at the two boys. 

“Hey, why are you laughing?” Sokka asked her. “Not fair.”

“Just missed this, that’s all,” Katara answered. 

“Listen, let me show you two to the guests quarters, and then I can give you guys a tour,” Zuko told them. “We made some changes I'd like to show you guys.”

“Actually, Zuko,” Sokka stated, “mind if I find Suki first? It’s, uh, been a while.”

Zuko nodded. “Sure.”

The siblings followed Zuko towards the guest quarters, their rooms right next to each other just as they were the last time they were in the Fire Nation. 

“I’m assuming Toph and Aang are joining us too?” Zuko asked them once they dropped their bags inside their rooms. 

“Of course,” Katara replied, smiling at Zuko. “We thought it would be nice to get us all together.”

“Yeah, why not, you know?” Sokka added. “Now, if you don’t mind, where can I find Suki?”

Zuko laughed. “She should be in the training rooms. Down the hall, take a right, another right, then a left. Though, to be honest, she probably knows you’re here and will find you."

“Spirits, I hope so, you’re  _ awful  _ at directions,” Sokka replied, already walking away. “Have fun you two.”

Zuko held his arm out to Katara once again, which she took. He led her down the halls, heart on his sleeve.

“I’m so happy you planned this,” Zuko told her. “It’s been so long.”

“The letters were nice,” Katara said, “but they’re not the same as seeing you in person.”

“There’s so much we need to catch up on,” Zuko exclaimed. 

Katara squeezed his arm. “Absolutely we do.” 

Zuko led Katara throughout the palace, showing her everything. Despite the fact that the palace looked almost exactly the same as the last time she was there, Katara was just happy to be with Zuko. As they walked, they came across one of the courtyards. Specifically, the courtyard where they shared their second kiss. 

Zuko led her towards the bench by the turtleduck pond, sitting down together. It was night now, so the turtleducks weren’t out. Sitting together, Zuko took Katara’s hand in his.

“So, what’s the real reason you’re here?” Zuko asked, Katara watching him as he stroked her hand with his thumb. 

“What do you mean?” she asked him. 

“I love that you’re all here,” Zuko said, “but I feel like there’s more.”

Katara sighed. “The anniversary.”

“It’s a celebration,” Zuko told her. “So you’re here to celebrate?”

“Yes and no,” Katara replied, giving him a small smile. “I still have your letter from last year.”

Zuko remembered that letter. He visited his father as usual, but it felt different. Ozai ignored him right up until the end where he criticized him as he always does. Zuko left the prison feeling awful. He thought visiting Azula, who was still in the asylum at this point, hoping it would help. Instead, that visit made both of them feel terrible. Azula was closed off more than usual, and Zuko had no idea what to do. This was all before he had found his mother, so Zuko went back to the palace feeling more miserable than usual, almost canceling the celebrations. 

“Thank you, Katara,” Zuko stated.

Katara raised Zuko’s hand to her lips, kissing it gently. 

“Will you accompany me to the party?” he asked her. 

“Of course I will!” Katara replied.

He leaned forward, gently placing a kiss on her lips. She kissed him back, his hand slowly making its way to her face. As they pulled apart, someone gently cleared their throat behind them. This was somehow the second time this happened, Zuko remembered, and it was starting to annoy him.

Turning around, Zuko spotted his mother standing at the entrance of the courtyard. He stood up quickly, Katara still sitting, looking around for the sound.

“Mom!” Zuko stated. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

Ursa cracked a smile. “It’s okay, Zuko. I was not aware you were, ah, busy.”

Katara stood up at the sound of Ursa’s voice, her face somewhat flushed. Zuko took her hand in his and brought her over to where Ursa was standing.

“Katara, this is my mother, Ursa,” Zuko said, motioning towards his mother. “Mother, this is Katara.”

Katara bowed. “It is nice to meet you, Lady Ursa.” 

“You as well, Lady Katara,” Ursa replied, bowing back. “Zuko has told me much about you.”

When Katara stood back up, her face was still somewhat flushed. “Zuko told me about you as well.” 

“Well, I’m happy that you and your brother have arrived,” Ursa told her. “Zuko needs his friends.”

Zuko felt himself go red. Katara just smiled.

“Now, I just wanted to say goodnight. Azula is still up somewhere,” Ursa said. “Do you mind just finding her before you go to bed?”

“Yes, mom, of course,” Zuko told her. “Goodnight.”

Ursa gave Zuko and Katara another genuine smile before turning around and walking off.

“She’s amazing,” Katara told Zuko, grabbing his arm. “You must be so happy to have her back.”

“I am,” Zuko replied. “More than anything.”

“How’s Azula?”

Zuko shrugged. “Better. Still wary of our mother, but that’s understandable. She keeps mentioning she’s glad Ozai is in jail.”

“So you’ve been speaking?” Katara asked.

“Yes,” Zuko replied. “We’ve been better.”

“Can I speak with her?” 

Zuko looked at her, blinking. For some reason, he knew Katara would ask this. 

“Not tonight of course,” Katara stated. “Tomorrow, maybe?”

Zuko nodded. “I’ll be sure to ask her. Azula might not want to meet with you.”

“I understand,” Katara replied. “Why don’t we go find Sokka and Suki? Interrupt their fun?”

Zuko smiled and held out his arm for her to take once again. “I do miss messing around with your brother.

Katara laughed, taking Zuko’s arm. “Well, then, let’s go!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter is a bit of a filler. I plan on having Katara and Azula meet probably in the next chapter. Debating on including a chapter for the celebration, but still not sure. We'll see :)


	11. if i could only read your mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Azula and Katara finally meet to discuss what happened during the Agni Kai. Katara seems to have forgiven Azula, much to Azula's surprise.

As promised, Zuko arranged a meeting between Katara and Azula. At first, his sister wasn’t totally pleased with meeting Katara, but Azula decided maybe it was time to make amends, especially since she was the one who arranged for Katara and Sokka to come to the Fire Nation. Since Toph and Aang arrived the day after Katara and Sokka, Zuko had them meet the following day.

“Do you want me there?” Zuko asked Azula, walking with her towards the courtyard. Out of every area in the palace, the courtyard gave both girls middle ground in case something went wrong. 

“No, I don’t,” Azula answered. “I believe this is a conversation we must have alone.”

Zuko nodded in agreement. When they reached the courtyard, Zuko paused by the entrance and motioned Azula to enter. 

“Katara should be there already,” Zuko told her. 

Without saying anything, Azula entered the courtyard. Zuko watched her walk in before turning around and walking away. Azula was right: this was a conversation he cannot be part of.

Meanwhile, in the courtyard, Katara knelt in front of the turtleduck pond, bending the water around her. She only stopped when she heard footsteps approach her. When she looked up, she locked eyes with Azula. 

“My brother tells me you wish to speak to me,” Azula stated, standing straight. Clearly, she still did not trust Katara.

Katara stood up, being sure to keep her distance. “Yes, I do. I think it’s time, don’t you agree?” 

“I do,” Azula stated. “So, let’s talk.”

“How are you feeling?” Katara asked her.

Azula blinked, clearly caught off guard. “What do you mean?”

“Just, how are you?” Katara asked sincerely. “Zuko told me you’ve been struggling.”

“Why has my brother been sharing my business with you?” Azula snapped. 

“Because I’m his friend and he was worried about you,” Katara answered easily, unphased by Azula’s flash of anger. “I’m worried too.”

Azula blinked again. “I’ve been...fine.”

“Are you lying?” Katara asked her, taking a step forward. Azula stood taller.

“No,” Azula exclaimed. “I’m fine.” 

“Do you like having your mother around?”

“She abandoned us,” Azula stated. “She left us alone with that monster.” 

“I heard she didn’t have a choice,” Katara said. 

“In life, you always have a choice,” Azula challenged. “But I know she never loved me as much as she loved her precious Zuzu.”

“Do you really believe that?”

“Yes.” 

Katara sighed. “I’m sorry you feel that way. It must feel awful.”

Never in her life has someone  _ apologized  _ to Azula for feeling a certain way. No one has ever validated her anger or frustrations, instead just telling her she  _ shouldn’t  _ feel the way she did, and should work to let go. 

“I appreciate that,” Azula stated. “It doesn’t change the way I feel.”

“I never expected it too,” Katara told her earnestly. “I didn’t ask to speak to you to change your mind or feelings.”

“Then why did you want to talk to me?” Azula asked her, taking her own step towards Katara. 

“Because I wanted to ask you something about that day,” Katara explained. “Two years ago, when we… faced each other.”

“You want to know why I aimed for you.” Azula hoped her words would get more of a reaction from Katara, something to show she was frightened or concerned. Instead, Katara sighed deeply and nodded. Her piercing blue eyes bore into Azula.

“Yes. I want to know,” Katara stated, now moving away from Azula and sitting on the bench, propping her head on her hand, staring at Azula.

“Ask my brother why he jumped,” Azula replied, keeping her distance from Katara.

Katara gave a small, knowing smile. “I know why he jumped. I want to know why you aimed.”

“Anyone with eyes can see that he loves you,” Azula spat out. “Even me. Oh, when he returned to the Fire Nation he wouldn’t stop moping. He felt  _ guilty  _ you see. Guilty about what happened in the catacombs. For a second, I thought he was going to choose you too, but he cared more about his  _ honor  _ than others back then, didn’t he?”

“He was a child, Azula,” Katara said simply. 

“I knew he would jump,” Azula continued. “I knew he would give up his crown, his nation, his  _ life  _ for you. What I wasn’t counting on was you.”

For the first time since they began talking, Katara finally looked surprised. “What do you mean?”

“You’re a powerful waterbender, Katara,” Azula told her. “You had grown since we last saw each other. I assumed he would come alone, but he brought you. There was a small part of me that hoped he would hesitate when he saw me aim, that I would succeed in  _ winning _ . I was wrong, wasn’t I?”

“I thought he was going to hesitate too,” Katara stated, looking away from Azula and back at the pond. “He risked so much for me.”

Azula no longer found herself feeling contempt towards the waterbender, but a new found curiosity. There was no pity, no hatred, but a pinch of kindness. Azula took a deep breath and walked towards the bench, tentatively sitting next to Katara. The other girl looked at Azula and smiled. It was a genuine smile, one that shared an unexplained connection between the two girls. 

“Zuzu would never hesitate when it comes to you,” Azula said finally. “His love for you… I don’t really understand it.”

“Nor do I, if I’m being honest,” Katara admitted. 

“Do you love him too?” Azula asked, studying Katara.

Katara looked away, her cheeks slowly flushing as she stared thoughtfully at the pond in front of her. “Yes.”

“I assumed so,” Azula replied.

“Azula, your brother cares for you,” Katara said, looking at Azula once again. “He didn’t want you imprisoned, he knew you were a victim of your father just as much as he was.”

“Why did he forgive me so easily?” Azula asked, tears slowly forming in her eyes. She wiped them away angrily, hoping Katara didn’t notice.

“He didn’t,” Katara replied, much to Azula’s surprise. “It took him a long time to forgive what you did, but that didn’t stop him from caring about you.”

“It should have,” Azula snapped. Again, Katara was unphased by Azula’s sudden frustration. 

“Why?”

“What?”

“Why shouldn’t he have forgiven you?” Katara asked.

“Because… because…,” Azula couldn’t find the words, couldn’t find the reasons. “Because I was cruel. I was uncaring. I  _ hated  _ him sometimes. I was manipulative.”

“The key word there is ‘was’, Azula,” Katara explained, slowly placing a hand on Azula’s shoulder. When Azula didn’t shake her off, she continued, “You aren’t those things anymore from what I’ve seen. Or, you’ve grown from what you’ve been, learned from your past. You’ve been open to letting Zuko help you, even when you didn’t want it at first.” 

“He never should have helped me,” Azula said firmly. “He should never have-”

“Stop that,” Katara exclaimed, giving Azula’s shoulder a light squeeze. “Your brother has a good heart, and you deserved his kindness no matter how badly you think you didn’t. Spirits, Azula, you’re not alone in this world anymore.”

Azula finally let the tears that formed fall freely. She sniffed, trying to wipe them away, but she couldn’t stop them from falling.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” Azula cried, her voice wavering. 

“Why shouldn’t I?” 

“I tried to kill you,” Azula told her, sniffing again. “I tried to kill you to get to Zuko.”

“But you didn’t,” Katara pointed out. “And you didn’t kill Zuko either.”

“ _ Still _ ,” Azula emphasized. “You should hate me.”

“I did at one point,” Katara explained. “But then I realized much of what you did, you didn’t have a choice, even if you say you do.”

“You think we can move past this?” Azula asked her, glaring at Katara.

Katara nodded. “Only if you do.”

Azula thought for a moment, not sure what to say.

“We don’t have to be the best of friends, Azula,” Katara stated, her hand finally falling from Azual’s shoulder. She reached into her dress pocket, pulling out a handkerchief and handing it to Azula. “But I would like to put this bad blood behind us. I want you to know I’m in your corner, even if you don’t want to feel the same way.”

Azula wiped her eyes and blew her nose, balling the handkerchief up in her fist when she was done. She considered Katara’s offer some more.

“Can you at least think about it?” Katara asked her. “You don’t need to say anything now.”

Azula nodded in agreement. “I will consider it.”

“That’s all I ask,” Katara replied, giving Azula another genuine smile. “Thank you for meeting with me.”

“Of course,” Azula said. “It was… nice.” 

“It was,” Katara agreed, standing up. “Shall we find the others? I think it’s almost time for lunch.”

“I think I just want to sit here for a little bit,” Azula told her. “Can you let my brother know?”

Katara nodded. “Yes, of course. I’ll be sure someone sends food over.”

When Azula didn’t answer, her eyes focused on one of the turtleducks that waddled out from behind the bushes, Katara slowly walked away. When she reached the threshold of the palace, she took one last glance at Azula before heading out.

She wasn’t sure where the others were, so she roamed the palace hallways for a bit. Her meeting with Azula went well, better than she could have expected. Really, she wanted to see if Azula knew about her and Zuko’s feelings for each other, but to also look Azula in the eyes and forgive her. Of course, Katara forgave Azula a long time ago, when Zuko said she was struggling with the aftermath of the war. But to see Azula, broken and shadow of what she once was, felt different. Azula was still confident, cocky, but Katara could see through the facade the girl put on. 

Deciding she wasn’t that hungry, Katara made her way towards the guest quarters. As she walked, she saw Zuko approaching from the other side.

“Katara!” he called out, picking up his pace to run to her.

“Zuko!” Katara called back, running towards him. When she got to him, she threw her arms out wrapping them around his shoulders. His arms went around her waist, pulling her close. 

When they let go, Zuko looked down at her. “How did it go?”

“It went well,” Katara told him, her arms dropping from around his shoulders. “Really well.”

“So, what, are you best friends now?” Zuko asked, motioning to Katara to walk with him. They fell into step easily, opposite from where Katara was heading.

“I don’t think we’ll ever be best friends,” Katara stated, laughing softly. “But we did reach an understanding.”

“Good, good,” Zuko replied, looking relieved. 

“You do need to talk to her though,” Katara told him. “She needs to hear from you that you forgive her and that you care about her.”

Zuko looked down at Katara, eyebrow scrunched in confusion. “Why’s that? I’ve been doing everything I can to help her.”

“Sometimes actions speak louder than words,” Katara said, “but in this case, they don’t. Just reassure her, that’s all.” 

“I’ll be sure to do that,” Zuko replied, smiling at Katara. “Thank you for speaking with her, Katara. I think she needed it.”

“I needed it too, honestly,” Katara told him. “I’m glad she’s doing better.”

“Me too,” Zuko replied. He took Katara’s hand in his own. “I’m so glad you’re here, Katara.”

“Me too, Zuko,” Katara replied, squeezing Zuko’s hand. 

“Never leave me again?” Zuko asked her, stopping in his tracks and looking at Katara.

Katara stood on her tiptoes, placing a gentle kiss on Zuko’s scar. “We’ll have to cross that bridge when we get there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I SO badly wish we got more of an Azula redemption arc. SOMETHING. She did some awful things, absolutely, but I do believe Katara would show Azula the same kindness she showed Zuko in the catacombs.


	12. kiss the tears right off your face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After waking up from a nightmare, Katara heads to Zuko's quarters looking for comfort. There, they finally say out loud what they mean to each other. They won't hesitate.

Katara woke up in a sudden panic, her chest tight. She sat up, her eyes adjusting to the darkness as she took calming breaths, trying to figure out what exactly had woken her up. 

All she remembered was standing still, her feet glued to the ground, lightning slowly and surely making its way towards her. Then nothing. 

Just darkness.

But what could the darkness mean? Was it her own conscious slipping away through the cracks greeting death? Or was there something else?

Heart racing, Katara threw her covers aside, jumping out of the bed. She ran towards the door, slamming it open, barely registering whether or not it closed behind her. Running through the vast palace, Katara tried to remember where it was she needed to go. 

Why was the palace so  _ big _ ?

She stood at the crossroad, looking back and forth between the two halls, trying to decide which was correct.

“Miss?” 

Katara turned around to face a palace guard who was looking at her with concern. It was then Katara realized that she was still in her night dress, running around barefoot. 

The guard cleared his throat. “Lady Katara, is there something you need.”

“Zuko,” she said automatically. When the guard glanced at her, she corrected herself. “ _ Firelord  _ Zuko.”

“He’s in his quarters,” the guard told her, his annoyance quickly replacing concern. 

“Take me to him,” Katara asked, voice cracking. 

“He’s probably-” 

“ _ Please _ , I need him,” Katara begged. 

The guard blinked, staring down at Katara who held her head high. Sighing, he motioned for Katara to follow him. She followed him closely, trying to memorize the way to Zuko’s quarters. They really weren’t far from her own, but in the dark the distance seemed expansive.

“He’s here,” the guard told her, stopping in front of a door where two Kyoshi warriors were positioned. They both looked at Katara, but the original guard just shook his head. “Let her go.”

When they moved aside, Katara took a step forward, gently rapping on the door. At first, there came no response, so she knocked a bit harder.

Katara held her breath.

The door opened.

“Katara?” Zuko asked, staring at her. Clearly, he was not expecting a late night visitor; his long hair was down out of its top knot, and he was only wearing a pair of trousers. 

“I… needed to see you,” was all she could muster out before she felt herself suddenly collapse. 

Zuko grabbed her quickly, the two Kyoshi Warriors suddenly moving forward as if to help them.

“I’ve got her,” Zuko told them, helping Katara stand up. “Just… stand there.”

The Kyoshi Warriors bowed, moving to the side. “Yes, Zuko.”

Zuko helped Katara walk into his room, closing the door behind them. Katara’s knees felt weak as he assisted her towards his bed, slowly sitting her down on the side. 

“Wait here,” he told her as he walked off.

She gripped the side of the bed, balling the sheets in her fists as she waited for Zuko to return. Katara tried as hard as she could to focus on the floor, but tears began welling in her eyes, blurring her vision. 

“Katara?” Zuko asked. Katara looked up at him; he was now holding a glass of water in his hand, which he offered to her. 

“No, I’m fine,” Katara replied, shaking her head. 

Zuko nodded, placing the water at the nearest table then sitting next to her. Her eyes wandered to the scar on his chest. Though two years have passed, the scar was still as harsh as it was when he first acquired it. 

“What’s the matter?” Zuko asked, placing an arm around her shoulders and pulling her to him.

Katara turned into him, raising her arm to embrace him. She cried into him, each sob more painful. 

“Katara, Katara, what happened?” Zuko asked, hugging her tightly, stroking her hair. 

“I thought talking to her would help,” Katara cried, clinging to Zuko.

“Azula?”

“I’ve had so many nightmares, Zuko,” she continued. “What if I hadn’t gotten to you on time, or if she had hit me or-”

“You can’t think like that, Katara,” Zuko stated, still stroking her hair. “It’s been two years. We’re okay.”

Katara pulled away, looking up at him. “Are we?”

“I think so,” Zuko answered. 

Katara’s hand brushed the scar on his chest, gently stroking it with her thumb. 

“It still hurts sometimes,” Zuko admitted. “I’ve talked to healers, they say there’s nothing wrong physically. But sometimes I get so tired.”

“You were hit with lightning,” Katara told him. “It’s going to affect you.”

“Added stress of being the Firelord doesn’t help,” Zuko added, laughing softly. 

“I dreamt I lost you,” Katara told him finally. “That I didn’t make it in time. That Azula won.” 

“Things would have been a lot different if she had,” Zuko replied.

“Yes,” was all Katara could say.

“You never told me about your nightmares,” Zuko stated, moving away from Katara so that he was now leaning on his hands away from her. 

Katara moved herself up onto the bed, sitting cross legged next to Zuko. 

“How come?” he asked her.

“I don’t know,” Katara admitted. “I knew you were busy with ruling a nation, helping your sister heal, finding your mother. I didn’t want to bother you with something trivial like nightmares.”

“You know I would never dismiss you like that,” Zuko reminded her. “I could have helped you.” 

“I think I was ashamed,” Katara said, flushing slightly. 

“Why?”

“Because I felt like a child,” Katara stated. “A silly little girl having a nightmare.”

“Katara, this was traumatic,” Zuko said, shaking his head slightly. “Nightmares are bound to happen.”

“I thought I could handle them.” 

“I still dream of that day too,” Zuko told her, moving forward and taking her hand in his. 

“You do?”

Zuko nodded. “Yes. I dream about not getting to you in time. The same thing, over and over again.”

“After all these years?” Katara asked, his hand now squeezing hers.

“Yes,” Zuko replied. “Mostly around this time of year.”

Katara nodded. This happened to her as well.

“I remember you sitting next to me,” Zuko continued, “as I was healing. I remember you holding my hand and placing a cold towel on my head. I remember you speaking to me in that calming voice you save for Aang when he's struggling. I remember never wanting you to leave.”

“But then I left,” Katara replied sadly. “I’m here now.”

Zuko smiled at her. “Yes, you’re here now.”

“Until I need to leave again,” she said. 

They sat quietly, hands still intertwined. Zuko seemed to be thinking, his thumb stroking hers absentmindedly. Katara allowed herself to study Zuko closely; he looked older, wiser, but more tired as well. What happened in two long years?

“Katara, I need to tell you something,” Zuko said finally, looking up at her. 

“Yes?”

“I know it’s obvious, and that everyone knows,” Zuko said rather quickly. “And you probably already know, mostly because of… well everything that’s happened between us.” 

Zuko paused, taking a breath. When he looked at her, she motioned for him to continue. 

“Well, I just need to say it out loud,” Zuko said, his gold eyes locked on to hers. 

“Go ahead,” Katara urged him.

“I love you, Katara,” Zuko said, moving closer to her, placing a hand on her cheek. He gently wiped a tear away. “I’ve loved you for… oh, I don’t know how long.”

Katara closed her eyes, the terrors from her nightmare slowly washing away.

“Katara?” Zuko asked. “Say something, please?”

Katara opened her eyes, Zuko looking desperate. 

“You don’t have to say it back,” he told her. “I just needed you to know.”

“Oh, Zuko,” Katara said finally. “I love you too.”

Zuko smiled, letting out a small laugh that had a touch of relief. 

“And one thing for sure is that I don’t think I can go another day without seeing you,” Katara told him. 

“What does that mean?” Zuko asked her, dropping his hand from her face. 

“I don’t know,” Katara said. 

“We can talk more about that later, then,” Zuko offered. “But for now, can we just… lay here?”

Katara nodded. Zuko leaned in, kissing her cheek softly. 

They moved to the head of the bed, Zuko wrapping his arms around Katara and pulling her close. Katara buried her face in his chest, feeling the beat of his heart.

There they lay, no longer worried about their future or their past. They didn’t want to think about what will come tomorrow, or the next week, or even the next year. For now, they held each other, knowing that they will never hesitate. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the last chapter my friends. It's been a ride. Thank you for taking this journey with me.  
> As a reminder, the title of the work is after the Jonas Brother's song 'Hesitate', aka the ultimate Zutara song. 
> 
> If the need arises, I may add another chapter, but I like how this ended.


End file.
